Breaking at the Seams
by cre8ive.ovadose
Summary: On his way home, Nick encounters a homeless boy that he soon befriends and vows to help save. But there are things in Sebastian's past that make him wonder if he even can be saved. Warnings inside. Nickbastian. Background Klaine.
1. Chapter 1

Rating: M

Characters: Nick, Sebastian, Blaine, Kurt

Summary: On his way home, Nick encounters a homeless boy that he soon befriends and vows to help save. But there are things in Sebastian's past that make him wonder if he even can be saved. Warnings inside. Nickbastian. Background Klaine.

Warnings: Talk of self-harm, prostitution, homelessness, drug and physical/sexual abuse. Depictions of the above. Swearing. Sexual references. Warnings will be tailored to chapters for the rest of the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and the title is from the song by To Be Juliet's Secret.

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**BREAKING AT THE SEAMS – CHAPTER 1:**

Nick Duval shivered as he strolled down the street back towards his apartment building. Winter was setting in before autumn was even half over and he could barely dismiss the bodies congregating around drums housing fires to warm by. Usually he'd spare a couple of dollars on them but college had left him broke and without time to work. He buried his hands further into his pockets and sniffed as he turned the corner onto his street.

Nick wondered idly why all those people were out on the streets. He wondered about their past, their history, their stories. He hoped they had somewhere safe to go and that they would be alright. He wished there was more he could do than simply hope.

Nick was shocked out of his reverie by a crash, a groan and a cough. He peered into the alley beside his apartment building, biting his lip as he felt anxiety rush through him. _Alleys are evil – you're gonna die. Turn around NOW._

He could see a shadow moving, a flash of pale skin and more coughing before a face appeared from behind a dumpster. Nick heard a zipper zipping before a tall, thin figure stepped out of the shadows.

"Hey baby, you looking for some fun?" the figure asked. He sounded young and Nick felt a pang of sadness for him as he shook his head.

"No thanks, I'm fine… Are you, though? You don't look good…" The boy had stepped into the light and Nick could see he was in fact pale with light brown hair hanging in his faded green eyes. His eyes were ringed with red and there were tear tracks on his face but Nick was loathe to say anything.

"I'm fine baby, and I can make you feel a whole lot finer." He had a smug smile but his face was clouded by fading bruises and dirt. The silence that had fallen between them was broken by the boy coughing, almost doubling over before he leaned against the wall of the alley. "Fuck. There goes another possibility."

"Possibility?" Nick asked. _Why are you talking to him?! Go inside and do your homework!_

The boy had slipped down the wall to the ground and he peered up at Nick like he was an idiot. "The possibility of another job. Would you screw someone if they were coughing all over you?"

"I-I s'pose not…" Nick glanced up and down the street before he bit the bullet. "How about you come inside for a while? I might have something that'll help with the cough, if you want."

"What? You aren't afraid I'll rob you blind the minute you turn your back?"

"Of course not," Nick said immediately before shying away a little. "Well, maybe a bit but I'll trust you."

The boy turned his gaze away and sighed before he pushed himself to his feet. "Fine. Who am I to refuse such hospitality?" He wore a wry smile as he approached Nick but the smile turned to a smirk when he reached forward a grabbed Nick's junk. "Besides, there might be something in it for you after all."

Nick turned a deep shade of red and stepped away. "Uh, I'm Nick by the way. Nick Duval." He held out his hand.

"I'm Sebastian. Just Sebastian," he answered as he shook Nick's hand. "Which way he headed, Nick?"

"Just here," Nick said as he darted up the stairs into his building. "Live here with my friend Blaine, but he's at a friend's in Bushwick for the night."

Sebastian nodded, peering around as they walked down the hallway to the elevator. They got in and rode up to the third floor before Nick led the way to the apartment. It was dark inside but Blaine had left the radiator on – which Nick had yelled at him for doing many a time – so it was warm. Nick tugged off his jacket as he flicked on some lights before turning back to find Sebastian kneeling beside the radiator.

"Can I get you anything? Water? Cough syrup? A shower?"

"A shower'd be great, actually," Sebastian said as he straightened up again.

Nick jabbed a finger to the bathroom door. "Just through there. Don't touch the blue towels or the hair gel. I can find you some clean clothes if you want; I think we've got some of Kurt's jeans." Part of Nick knew that was a bad idea but he was a good six inches shorter than Sebastian and Blaine was another three inches shorter than he was.

"Nah, I'll be right." Sebastian flashed a smile before he nodded. "I'll be out in a few minutes."

Nick nodded and waited for the door to close behind Sebastian before he began digging through the kitchen cupboards for the cough syrup. He soon gave up and pulled out his phone to call Blaine and ask him. It rang for a long time before Nick was greeted by two sets of panting breath.

"Nick, what do you want?" Blaine gasped.

"Where's the cough syrup?"

"Why? You don't sound sick."

"Just tell me where it is."

"Are you trying to get high?"

"Just tell me where it is."

"Cupboard above the fridge. You hid it up there so I would quit singing every time I went to get cereal."

"Thank you."

"See ya tomorrow."

"Enjoy the sex," Nick said quickly before he hung up, knowing that would piss Kurt off. He reached into the cupboard above the fridge and found the cough syrup, setting it on the bench top before he set about making twin ham sandwiches.

Just as he was slicing the two sandwiches into halves, the bathroom door opened and Sebastian wandered out with the (red) towel around his neck. He was wearing his dirty, ripped jeans and a loose t-shirt. Nick found himself taken aback by the multiple raised scars and track marks along the insides of his arms but he swallowed the fear and pushed a sandwich towards Sebastian.

"Ham sandwich and cough syrup."

"Thanks," Sebastian murmured as he sat down at the makeshift breakfast bar Blaine had insisted on. Sebastian grabbed a half of his sandwich and began to eat as Nick watched on, realising that he had a homeless drug addict prostitute sitting in his kitchen. _Oh dear_.

"So where are you from?" Nick asked as he took a bite of his own sandwich.

"Born in Chicago, came here from Ohio," Sebastian answered around a mouthful of sandwich. He swallowed and coughed harshly before he laughed slightly. "Came to New York to _find myself_."

"Did you?" Nick asked, hoping Sebastian wouldn't notice the nervous glance to his arms.

Sebastian sighed. "I've found the finding yourself and losing yourself are much one in the same."

"How so?"

Sebastian shrugged as he leaned his arms on the bench. "You lose part of yourself when you find yourself – you lose the lost part of you. And when you lose yourself, you find that there's always something more to lose."

Nick nodded sadly. "I can understand that…"

"You ever lost yourself, Nick?" Sebastian asked as he tapped his fingers aimlessly.

"I dunno, maybe." He shrugged. "You?"

"I wouldn't be sitting in a stranger's apartment eating a charity sandwich if I hadn't," Sebastian said with another short laugh. Dark humour seemed to fuel his smile but Nick could see that the smile was only skin deep.

Nick nodded before he glanced around the messy apartment. If only Blaine took as much care of his home as he did his hair. "I suppose I should make up the couch…" Nick said as he stepped back into the living room and began moving things from the couch.

"You don't have to do that."

"You can't go back out in the cold with your cough. You'll get worse."

"I'm sure I'd manage." Nick jumped slightly when he straightened and Sebastian was standing behind him, a hand at his hip. "Besides, I owe you for that delicious sandwich."

Nick felt his breath quicken before he slowly turned around, letting Sebastian capture his lips. The kiss was warm and Nick was surprised when he kissed back, not resisting when Sebastian pulled their bodies flush together.

Sebastian broke the kiss and peered into Nick's brown eyes. "Let me pay you back, Nick," he whispered huskily. Nick shivered with anticipation as Sebastian pushed his hair back behind his hair before he took Sebastian's hand and led him towards his bedroom.

What was life without almost-free sex?

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**A/N: I have no idea where this came from or where it's going. I randomly got inspired while watching Law & Order SVU and there were some gifs and a Disney movie involved. It's all a bit of a blur really :p But I hope you like it so far. I'll probably try to work out a bit of a plan before I post again but keep an eye out. Thanks for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	2. Chapter 2

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, talk of prostitution and homelessness.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: This story was posted in the Blaine and Kurt character tags because 's tagging system is whacked so I've taken them out of the character list but they will still be featured in the story. Sorry for any inconvenience.

I also rejected a bit of canon for some stuff in this chapter. Sorry Klainers. (Don't worry they're still together, all will be explained). Enjoy :)

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**CHAPTER 2:**

The next morning, Nick woke alone but with the distinct warm feeling that it hadn't always been so. He turned onto his side, running a hand along the empty space beside him where Sebastian had laid during the night. He smiled to himself before pressing the heels of his hands against his closed eyes and laughing softly as he kicked off the sheets. It felt good to be alive.

Though he did have to admit, he wished Sebastian had stayed.

Nick pulled on some clean clothes before shuffling out to the living room where Blaine was sitting on the couch with coffee and a magazine.

"Congrats on the sex," Blaine said wryly without looking up.

Nick frowned, squinting in the light. "How do you know about that?"

"You slept in. You only sleep in when you're sick or you've had sex," Blaine looked up with an unusually wicked smile. "Though the condom in the bathroom trash can was a good tip-off too."

Nick blushed furiously as he stepped into the kitchen and poured his own cup of coffee. The cough syrup was gone from where it had been left on the bench.

"So who was he?" Blaine called, not bothering to move.

"Just a friend."

"You don't have any friends."

"Shut up."

"Seriously, I wanna know," Blaine said as he stood up and came to lean on the breakfast bar. It was nowhere near as sexy as Sebastian doing it.

"Just some guy I met… Needed …" Nick shrugged, he didn't know how to explain it to Blaine. He knew he wouldn't understand.

"Needed what?" Blaine asked, his expression turning worried as Nick bowed his head. "Nick, come on. You can talk to me. Did something happy? Is your mom-"

"She's fine. She's fine," Nick shook his head. "I dunno what happened. He was there and he needed help so I gave it to him. Maybe it led to something else, so what? It was good, I enjoyed it. He was nice to me. Nicer than anyone else I've ever slept with."

"I resent that," Blaine said with a brief smile before he turned serious again. "But Nick… Prostitutes aren't going to make you any happier. No matter how nice they are to you or how good they make you feel."

"You think I'm not aware of that? It wasn't like that anyway, okay?" Nick shook his head as he poured the rest of his coffee down the sink. "He needed somewhere safe for the night, he looked like he'd been beat up and he was sick. One thing led to another – I dunno, I guess he thought he needed to repay me. I let him. I have no regrets."

"Okay," Blaine murmured as he straightened. "Well, we'd better get to class."

"Yeah, okay."

"Nick?"

"What?"

"Just be careful okay? Kurt and I are here if you need anything."

Nick nodded tersely before he set about getting ready for class. He knew Blaine wouldn't understand.

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Blaine had theatre club rehearsal that night so Nick was wandering home alone again. Not that he minded. The entire day with Blaine had felt like a judgement and as he mulled over their morning conversation, Nick felt something twist deep inside that hollowed him of emotion. He didn't like feeling this way.

Turning the last corner to the apartment, Nick was surprised to find Sebastian pacing up and down outside the building. He honestly hadn't expected to ever see the boy again but watching him now, Nick was glad he was getting the chance. He approached Sebastian with a smile but the boy seemed on edge.

"Hey, you okay?" Nick asked. Sebastian seemed jittery and … _wired._

"Yeah yeah, I'm fine," Sebastian answered as he ran a hand through his hair. "Just wanted to see you."

"Well, you're seeing me," Nick replied with a nervous smile. "Do you wanna go get a coffee or something?"

"Sure, sure." Sebastian buried his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and began striding down the sidewalk. Nick had to run to keep up and he couldn't shake the worry that was brewing in him.

"How was your day?" Nick asked as they walked.

"Well, that's very domestic of you," Sebastian laughed. "What next? The electricity bill came today? Mrs Jenkins across the road brought us another casserole?"

"You're not very serious are you?"

"My life doesn't require much seriousness," Sebastian said with a smirk. "Good times with good people, that's all I need."

Nick smiled slightly but he didn't voice his disagreement, he simply led the way into his favourite coffee shop. "Do you like your coffee any particular way?"

"Strong."

Nick nodded slowly before ordering their drinks and they stepped to the side to wait.

"So are you going to tell me about your day?" Nick asked.

"Tell me about yours," Sebastian replied with a saccharine-sweet smile and a flutter of his eyelids. _Pathetic… But so fucking adorable._

"Woke up late, got interrogated by my roommate, went to class, came home and found you," Nick shrugged. "Nothing interesting."

"What did your roommate interrogate you about?" Sebastian asked, a hint of worry in his voice.

"You," Nick sighed. "He's worried that I'm using prostitutes to feel better about myself or some shit like that. Asked me if I was getting high when I called to ask where the cough syrup was last night."

"He's probably just worried."

"He doesn't need to be," Nick said with a shake of his head. Their coffee was ready and Nick took it from the barista with a short "thanks" before they went and sat at a table in the back corner.

"You should be thankful that he cares. People who care are hard to come by." Sebastian took a sip of his coffee and Nick saw that he visibly calmed down as the caffeine worked its way through his system.

They lapsed into silence before Nick finally plucked up the courage to talk about their night together. "You didn't have to sleep with me, you know."

Sebastian sighed heavily and looked to Nick, annoyance fuelling his glare. "Don't go down that road, Nick."

"What?" Nick asked, quizzical.

"Don't pretend to fall in love with the homeless boy after one night. Don't try to help me."

"I'm not trying to… I'm not in love with you, Sebastian. I just wanted to make sure you understood that you didn't need to _pay me_ for what I did."

Sebastian shook his head. "You don't understand. No one ever fucking understands," Sebastian growled before he got to his feet and stalked out of the coffee shop. Nick watched sadly before realising that Sebastian hadn't left his coffee.

Nick smirked. Sebastian might be against accepting charity but he had no problem taking what was offered.

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**A/N: Poor boys, they never catch a break with me, do they? :p I'll probably have another update tonight, maybe two – we'll see how I go. But I've been so overwhelmed by the response to this story so far. Thank you for that :) I hope you're enjoying it, please let me know what you think and don't be afraid to ask questions. Have a wonderful day –Em xoxo**


	3. Chapter 3

Warnings: Swearing. Drug references. Minor medical procedures. Talk of drug abuse and prostitution.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 3:**

Nick went home and made dinner before locking himself in his room to do his homework before collapsing into bed at ten o'clock. He was angry at Sebastian and angry at Blaine and angry at his dad and he just wanted to sleep but he couldn't. He started drifting off an hour or two after going to bed but was quickly pulled back to consciousness by a loud banging.

Dragging himself out of bed, he wandered out into the living room but it was dark. Blaine was rushing out, pulling on a robe before they both looked to the front door. There was a shadow coming under the door before a voice shouted through the door.

"Nick, I need help!" The words were slurred but Nick knew who it was and with an exasperated sigh, he opened the door.

"Nick, no!" Blaine called but he was ignored.

Nick grabbed Sebastian as he stumbled through the door. He was warm to the touch and he coughed harshly. Nick steered him towards the couch, pushing him down and his hands came away wet. Looking down, Nick saw his hands were smeared with blood and as Blaine turned on the overhead lights, they realised Sebastian was bruised and bleeding.

"Looks like he was beat up," Blaine murmured.

"What do we do? Do we take him to the hospital?" Nick asked as he knelt in front of Sebastian.

"Yeah. I'll get dressed." Blaine disappeared back into his bedroom.

"Mmm, your roommate doesn't like me," Sebastian slurred. "Is it cuz I'm homeless or a slut?"

"I think it's because you're bleeding on our couch," Nick replied, trying to sound light-hearted. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"Got high," Sebastian said with a giggle. "Couple o' the guys and me… Fought over who'd get the last of it. Bastards hit me. Fell on the way here…"

"Get the last of what? Seb, what'd you take?" Nick asked frantically, reaching up to touch Sebastian's cheek. It was hot and sweat was beading on his forehead as he sunk further into the couch.

"We were snorting coke," Sebastian said with a sniff. "Sucks though, already coming down…"

"Okay, Blaine and I are gonna take you to the hospital, alright? Everything's gonna be fine," Nick murmured. He squeezed Sebastian's knee before he got to his feet to find shoes and his keys. Blaine was standing by the door, watching Sebastian nervously.

"He's coming down, we need to get him to the hospital ASAP," Nick said to Blaine as he pulled Sebastian off the couch. "Have you got money for a cab?"

"Yeah sure, I'll head down and see if I can flag one down," Blaine replied before he ran down the corridor.

Sebastian was slow, wavering on his feet and stumbling but Nick held him steady and they made their way downstairs. Blaine was waiting out the front of the building with a cab and they carefully manoeuvred Sebastian into the back seat.

"Nearest hospital, as fast as you can," Blaine barked to the cabbie as he pulled the door shut behind him.

"Is he high?" the cabbie asked, his voice gruff.

"He just needs the hospital, okay?" Blaine answered, angry. Nick watched him sadly, swallowing before he looked down as Sebastian grabbed a fistful of his shirt.

"Why are we going to the hospital, Nick?" Sebastian managed to ask. He was shaking slightly and the sweat was pouring off of him.

"We just need to make sure you're okay, alright? You're bleeding and your temperature's through the roof," Nick murmured as he tangled their fingers together. "Just gotta make sure you're okay."

Sebastian peered up at him, his eyes still glazed over. "I told you not to do this… Don't fall in love with me."

"I'm not," Nick brushed Sebastian's hair back from his forehead. A red smear coloured the skin and Nick's hand was slick with sweat but he didn't care. "I'm just helping a friend, okay?"

Sebastian hummed softly and snuggled into Nick's chest. "I'm gonna owe you so much for this," Sebastian murmured as his eyes drifted closed.

Nick swallowed nervously and looked to Blaine. Blaine just shook his head and looked back out the window.

When they reached the hospital, Blaine helped Nick get Sebastian into the emergency room before Blaine headed back out to pay for the cab.

"What's happened to him?" the triage nurse asked when it was finally their turn.

"He was snorting cocaine, got into a fight with a couple of other guys. He got away but fell over on his way to my place," Nick explained. "He said he was coming down on the way here."

"Okay, come with me and we'll get you two cleaned up," the nurse answered. She led them back to the rows of beds where she helped Nick lie Sebastian down.

"What's his name?"

"Sebastian Smi-ythe, Sebastian Smythe," Nick answered.

"Age?"

"About eighteen, I'm not sure. We only met yesterday."

"And he came running to you?"

"I guess."

"We'll have to keep a close eye for allergies then." The nurse was checking over Sebastian's arms. His left revealed bruises and something akin to an Indian burn while the right had the track marks, raised scars and three fresh cuts that still oozed blood. "Is that his blood on you?"

"Yeah, I didn't realise he was bleeding when he got there. It was dark and he just kinda fell through the front door."

"Yeah well, he probably didn't notice either."

Nick was confused by the statement but he just watched on while the nurse checked Sebastian's vitals. She swore at his heart rate **and** his temperature before she stepped away.

"I'm going to find the doctor on staff, we're gonna need to get his heart rate and temperature down and fix up his arm. We'll check him for any other drugs and we'll get a blood sample from to make sure you're clean too."

"I don't do drugs…"

"You're covered in a drug addict's blood, kid. You're at high risk for hepatitis or HIV. Just wait here and call for help if anything happens."

Nick nodded slowly as the nurse walked away before he looked back to Sebastian. He seemed to be asleep – Nick hoped he was asleep. He didn't want to see someone die. He carefully took Sebastian's hand, squeezing gently before a flurry of activity descended upon them. Nick was whisked away by a different nurse and the last he saw of Sebastian was his hand slipping off the edge of the bed in a silent plea not to be left alone.

The nurse took him to a small treatment room where she sat him down to draw some blood.

"Your friend's gonna be fine. We get a lot of addicts in here. They'll sort him out and then you'll be free to go," she said with a smile. She pressed the needle into the crease of Nick's elbow and he winced before he turned his gaze to the ceiling.

"You said he'd be free to go… Does that mean I'll need to look after him?"

"Yeah but you're his friend, I'm sure he'll be glad for the help."

Nick scoffed. "Sure. Last time I tried to help him he ran off and got high." Nick shook his head. "I wanna help him, but I don't know how… And my roommate isn't particularly agreeable about the whole situation."

"You want some pointers?"

Nick looked to the nurse and nodded. "If you think it'll help…"

"Coming down off cocaine is a lot like getting the flu, for some people. He'll be pretty sick and out of it so just let him sleep if that's what he wants. Other people just feel like they can't do anything, that the only thing worth doing is getting high again. Try to keep his mind off that. Don't try to make him do things but keep him occupied. Watch movies with him. Read or listen to music. Talk to him."

"He doesn't seem to like talking all that much." Nick murmured as he watched the nurse withdraw the needle from his arm. She pressed a cotton bud to his arm.

"Then this will be a good opportunity to get to know each other. Just make sure he's comfortable and I'm sure you'll be fine." The nurse smiled as she soaked a cloth with warm water. "Just wipe up the blood with that and toss it in the cloth bin outside the door. You can wait for your friend in the waiting room out front."

Nick nodded as he took the cloth and began scrubbing at the dried blood on his hands and arms. He didn't know how to take care of Sebastian, who was he trying to fool? He sighed softly as he thought over the situation before heading back out to the waiting room.

Blaine was sitting in the corner flipping through a magazine but he put it back on the stack when Nick came over.

"Is everything okay? Can we head home?"

"Sebastian's with the doctors. They've gotta lower his heart rate and temperature and stuff so he doesn't overdose, I guess. They're checking to make sure he hasn't given me anything, too."

"But we can go home?" Blaine asked, a little too hopeful.

"He doesn't have anywhere else to go, Blaine," Nick murmured. "I-I've said I'll look after him…"

"What the fuck are you thinking?!" Blaine said in a shouted whisper as he jumped to his feet. "You have college! You don't have time to take care of some guy you met on the streets! Send him to a shelter or something. You can't take care of him."

"I have to, Blaine. I'm the only one he's got who won't get him high or leave him on the streets."

"Why are you doing all this? Because he's the first person you've slept with in two years? Because he made you _feel good_?! He's a prostitute, Nick!"

Nick shot up from his seat. "He's human! He makes mistakes! He's sick and he needs help. I'm giving it to him. It's as simple as that."

Blaine jabbed a finger at Nick. "You wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me, Duval! Remember what your parents said? If you were getting bad, you had to go home!"

"As far as I see it, I'm not the one who's being bad here," Nick growled. Blaine went to shoot back a retort but they were interrupted by a doctor.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but are you here with Sebastian Smythe?" she asked. She had a clipboard tucked under her arm.

"Yes, we're his friends. I'm Nick and this is Blaine."

"I'm Doctor Amelia Radley, I've been treating Sebastian. He's doing well but as is expected, he's not feeling too good. We've talked to him and he has contact details for some support lines and a drug counsellor. Sadly, we can't keep him here while he's detoxing."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Nick asked. "I mean, isn't this the most critical period of time while he's coming down?"

"He's stable again, so he'll be alright," Doctor Radley said with a nod. "The best thing for him now, is to be comfortable. He might be feeling depressed for a few days – try not to leave him on his own for too long. If he has a therapist, try to get an emergency appointment for this afternoon."

Nick nodded tersely, hoping Blaine wouldn't blow their cover. "Anything else?"

Doctor Radley took out her clipboard, scanning through the information before her eyes lit up in recognition. "There was one thing – the cuts in his arm may have been self-inflicted."

"How can you tell?" Nick asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"The cuts are straight."

Nick turned a surprised expression to Blaine who shrugged before looking back to Doctor Radley.

"Well, you're friend is right. I wouldn't suggest asking Sebastian about it just yet. Give him a few days to come down before asking him anything about depression or self-harm."

"What if it is self-harm and he tries it again? If he's feeling depressed with the coming down…"

"As I said, just try not to leave him on his own for too long. He needs support and safety and reassurance right now."

"We can give him that," Nick murmured with a smile.

"That's great to hear," Doctor Radley answered. "They're just helping him clean up now; he should be out in a few minutes."

Nick nodded. "Thanks Doctor Radley."

"No problem boys." She smiled to each of them before she headed back to the triage desk.

Nick finally turned back to Blaine, expecting his best friend to still be angry. Blaine shrugged, an apologetic look on his face before they turned to find Sebastian shuffling over to them. He looked tired and strung out, bags under his eyes as he tugged his hoodie sleeve over the bandage around his wrist. A nurse had escorted him out but she turned and left now.

"You feeling okay, Seb?" Nick asked.

"Let's just go." Sebastian murmured, his eyes trained on the floor.

Nick nodded, heading for the doors with Sebastian while Blaine followed. This was going to be difficult.

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**A/N: I always feel bad when I write a long chapter because then I feel like I'm disappointing you when the rest are all short and "normal" sized. But I hope you liked this chapter and are looking forward to seeing what Blaine and Nick can do for Sebastian. I need to do a bit more planning before I move forward. Thanks for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	4. Chapter 4

Warnings: Talk of physical/sexual/drug abuse, talk of past rape, talk of depression, talk of running away and homelessness, talk of prostitution, sexual references, swearing, talk of homophobia, talk of cancer.

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 4:**

For the next few days, Nick stayed at home with Sebastian. Blaine had all but moved in with Kurt – Nick didn't mind. He knew it made Sebastian feel more comfortable despite the fact the boy did nothing but watch movies. In three days, he had watched all of their Disney movies and most of Blaine's collection of musicals. He couldn't sleep, which they had established early on.

Five days after their midnight run to the hospital, Nick sat down to watch _Peter Pan_ with Sebastian – again. Nick looked to the tight-fighting t-shirt and the too-short sweatpants.

"We should get you some clothes of your own," Nick said as the opening credits rolled.

Sebastian looked to Nick before he looked down at his clothes with a slight smile that still didn't reach his eyes. "Yeah I guess so…"

"Do you feel up to it?" Nick asked. He had realised early on that the key to getting Sebastian to do things was to ask him how he felt. He didn't understand why it worked, he only focused on the fact that it did.

"Maybe later," Sebastian murmured before he hit the pause button on the DVD remote. "I was kinda wondering…"

"What about?" Nick asked, shifting so he could face Sebastian properly. Was this it? Was this the great reveal?

"I wanted to explain why I'm here," Sebastian took a deep breath. "I mean, like, in this city… I know you've wondered, I've seen the way you look at me when you think I can't see you. I want to be honest… You deserve that."

"You don't have to pay me back for letting you stay here, Seb. You don't have to talk about this if you're not ready…"

"I want to," Sebastian said as he looked Nick straight in the eye. He hadn't done that since he'd kissed Nick the night they met. Nick remembered that Sebastian was charismatic and he felt his charm like a magic spell as he nodded.

Sebastian took another deep breath before he began his story. "I grew up in Ohio… Mom, Dad, an older brother – his name was Jimmy. We were your run of the mill upper class family. Dad's a lawyer; Mom's a professor at a university in Columbus. Jimmy was three years older than me, on the football and basketball teams. Wanted to be a cop. But my Dad and brother… They didn't like me very much.

"Jimmy always used to bully me; I was his annoying younger brother y'know? But when I got to middle school stuff … _changed_. All the other guys were into girls but I could only see how beautiful _they_ were. Jimmy noticed one day, he picked me up from school. We were walking home; he caught me checking out a guy. Pinned me to a tree and told me not to think like that anymore." Sebastian's breath caught in his throat and he sobbed softly before pushing through.

"A few weeks later; Jimmy, Dad and I were home alone. I was just in my room, doing homework, when Dad comes in. He's screaming about how I can't be gay, that I'm a vile sinner and that I'll bring shame upon the family. I don't understand what he's talking about – I didn't know I was gay, I was just a kid. He hits me, calls me a liar. Dad shoves me before Jimmy comes in and holds me down. Dad rips off my jeans and…" Sebastian looked up, peering out the window. Nick could see the tears in his eyes and reached out to hold his hand, squeezing gently.

"My father always was a hypocritical bastard," Sebastian tried to laugh it off before continuing. "He never … did that again, but he and Jimmy would beat me up whenever Mom was gone. They blamed it on school bullies, said that I wouldn't tell who did it to me. She saw straight through them of course but she didn't know what to do. It wasn't until they broke my skull one night that she tried to stop it. I couldn't tell the police what happened though… I was terrified they'd kill me if they got the chance. I ran the first chance I got. I headed east and I kept running until I hit the city."

"Why here? Why not to Columbus or Cincinnati?" Nick asked. He was still holding Sebastian's hand, carefully massaging small circles into the skin between his thumb and forefinger.

"They would have found me there. There are a lot more homeless teenagers in New York City than in any of the cities in Ohio." Sebastian shrugged, looking down at where Nick held his hand. "I stayed in shelters here for about a week before I realised how stupid that was. At least twenty guys tried to sleep with me. Four succeeded. I was seventeen, without a home or any money, and scared as all hell that my father was coming for me-"

"Wait – you said you were seventeen… How long was it before you left?"

"Two and a half years. It took me six months to get here. I tried staying in a few other places but it was harder to survive. I've been here for almost eighteen months."

"What about the drugs? Do you mind me asking about that?"

"No, no, that's the point of all this." Sebastian flashed a smile at Nick but there was something dark in his eyes now. "I was in the city for about three weeks before the drugs started. I left the shelter and looked for somewhere else to go, moved to the outskirts of Manhatten. Eventually I moved down to the East Village, after I met Jesse.

"Jesse was – _is_ homeless too. He's a few years older though. He's been on the streets since he was sixteen. He met me in one of the shelters, offered to find me somewhere safe to stay when he found me crying after one of the older guys raped me. I trusted him, I just wanted out. We made our way to the East Village and I met some of his friends. We got high that night, straight onto coke. I almost through myself into the East River afterwards, the come down was so bad.

"Jesse kept a closer eye on me after that, made sure I was being careful until I knew what I was doing. He tried me on heroin for a while, speedballing almost killed me again. I settled for the coke but he got sick of providing it for me. Decided he'd use me to make money, like a pimp but only with me. He taught me the tricks of the trade and started sending me off to get money as a prostitute." Sebastian sighed heavily. "And that's how I came to be sitting on your couch watching kids movies while I come down."

"How'd you get to Williamsburg though? Why'd you cross the river?"

"Looking for johns," Sebastian answered simply. With a cheeky grin he added, "But I found a Nick instead."

Nick laughed softly, smiling as he squeezed Sebastian's hand. "I'm glad you told me about this… I'm glad you trusted me."

"Do you wanna return the favour?" Sebastian asked, trying to be tactful. "If you want to, I mean. No pressure."

"Um, well… I have a dad and a mom and two younger siblings. A brother and a sister. I grew up in Ohio too, so did Blaine and his boyfriend Kurt. Blaine and I in Westerville, Kurt in Lima. Nothing much happened to me until I was fifteen. My mom she uh, she got really sick. Dad took her to the doctor; they sent her to the hospital… Within the week, she had stage three blood cancer that they can't get rid of." Nick felt himself choke up, could feel Sebastian squeezing his hand.

"I was terrified. The chemo made her so sick. Dad just shut down, he couldn't deal with it. I had to look after the kids, make sure they got to school on time and had lunch and did their homework. I couldn't sleep because I was so busy trying to keep the house in one piece. The school noticed and Dad and I were sent to counsellors. He got better, I got worse. Blaine tried to help when he transferred in. He helped me when I realised I was gay. But he left the next year to be with Kurt.

"We were reunited when we were both accepted into college here. He's at a dramatic arts school; I'm just at NYU studying biology." Nick shrugged. "There's not much more to tell than that."

Sebastian nodded his understanding before they fell into a comfortable silence, their hands still tangled together. Sebastian felt calm for the first time in he didn't know how long. He didn't feel safe but calm was better than nothing. A few long minutes passed before he asked one more question.

"Why did you try to help me?"

"Because you don't deserve to live like this," Nick answered quietly. "I couldn't stand to see you suffer…"

Sebastian nodded before he leaned back into the couch. "I don't understand what you see in me, Nick. But thank you for seeing it."

Nick simply smiled and squeezed Sebastian's hand one more time. That was enough for today.

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**A/N: I hope you liked that, I enjoyed writing the end part. We'll find out a bit more about Nick (and Blaine) in the chapters still to come. This will be the last update for tonight, I'm gonna take a break to watch a couple of movies and get some sleep. But I hope you've enjoyed this, and thanks for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	5. Chapter 5

Warnings: Bullying, panic attack, self-harm, depression, swearing, talk of past abuse

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, the movie they watch, or the lyrics they complain about.

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**CHAPTER 5:**

Sebastian started acting a little more human after he and Nick's talk. He started eating and took a shower. They went out one afternoon and Nick bought Sebastian new clothes which severely depleted Nick's savings but he didn't mind. Sebastian also got a haircut and Nick found that he was even more handsome when he cleaned himself up. He was still too skinny and he didn't do much besides sit around the apartment but Nick didn't mind. It meant he had time to catch up on the work he'd missed while looking after Sebastian.

One day, Nick was sitting at the small dining table surrounded by chemistry books and he was getting frustrated. Why was balancing equations still so fucking difficult?! He threw his pencil down with a groan of exasperation and rubbed at his eyes. He felt a hand on his back and looked up to see Sebastian leaning over him.

"Need help?" Sebastian asked as he pulled out the other chair and sat down, a can of Coke (the good kind) in hand. The jokes had been made since Sebastian started eating because Coca Cola seemed to be the only thing he drank.

"You know how to balance equations?" Nick asked, admittedly surprised.

"I was good with numbers at school. My science teachers used to give me eleventh and twelfth grade stuff because I was bored. Which one are you doing?"

Nick pointed to the equation he was struggling with before watching as Sebastian took his notebook and pencil. Nick could see the gears turning in his head as he scribbled out the answer. His handwriting was slanted and sloppy but still readable. Sebastian straightened again and pushed the notebook back towards Nick.

"Does that look right?"

Nick read it carefully before turning to smile at Sebastian. "Seems I have a chemistry genius in my midst."

Sebastian shrugged. "I was good at it. It was the only thing I kept on top of."

Nick smiled slightly before he looked up at the clock. "We should think about dinner…"

"Yeah."

"I was actually wondering… Do you wanna meet Blaine's boyfriend?"

Sebastian turned sheepish then. "Sure…"

"It's just, I mean – it's gonna happen eventually. Why not make a night out of it? And it's not fair that Blaine's always over there, anyway."

"Sure," Sebastian said again with a smile. "Whatever you want." He got up and wandered into the kitchen.

Nick nodded slowly before he pulled out his phone and called Blaine.

"Hey Nick, what's up?"

"Do you wanna bring Kurt over for dinner?"

"Uh… Sure. Do you want us to pick something up on the way?"

"Nah, I'll cook the spaghetti we've been meaning to do for the last week and a half. What time will you two be here?"

"Uh, Kurt's class finishes at five I think. Maybe have it ready for six thirty?"

"Okie dokie. I'll see you then."

"See ya."

Nick hung up and looked to where Sebastian was standing in the kitchen, watching him.

"You gonna help me make dinner?"

"I can do that."

They set about getting everything ready and Nick left Sebastian to cut up the vegetables to go in the sauce while he cleared away his homework. He also dug out two foldout chairs from the closet, setting them at the table before he grabbed a cloth and wiped down the table. He didn't remember the last time he and Blaine had used the table for a meal. He imagined tonight would mark a most momentous occasion.

Cooking with Sebastian was more fun than he had expected and he was beginning to realise that Sebastian had many more skills than he had let on. Watching him cook was like watching poetry in motion and when Nick flicked on the radio, he was surprised when he heard Sebastian singing softly.

"You like to sing?" Nick asked as he dug out plates and cutlery.

"Yeah. Only realised that after I ran away," Sebastian said as he stirred the mince he was browning off in the frying pan. "I didn't dare sing at home. Dad probably would have seen it as another reason to try beating the gay outta me."

"Are you actually gay? Like, I get that you've slept with guys because you needed money and just didn't have a choice but _are _you gay?" Nick felt like an asshole for asking but he just wasn't sure.

Sebastian chuckled softly. "Yeah, I'm gay. As the fourth of July."

Nick nodded before they lapsed back into silence save for the quiet murmur of Sebastian's singing.

Six thirty rolled around and Kurt and Blaine burst in through the front door. Nick had just finished setting the table and Sebastian was in the bedroom changing out of his sweats.

"Hey Nick, how are you?" Kurt asked brightly as he pulled off his coat.

"I'm good. You?"

"Ugh, exhausted. NYADA's stepped up their game this year. It's insane."

"Where's Sebastian?" Blaine asked quietly as he flicked through the mail he'd brought up with him.

"Just getting changed. Dinner's ready to be served. Do you guys want drinks?"

"I'll grab them," Kurt said with a smile. "Do you and Sebastian want anything?"

"Uh, I'll have orange juice, Seb will have Coke."

Kurt nodded and headed into the kitchen but Nick didn't miss the quiet "Ironic". Nick sighed softly but didn't say anything. They were going to have a pleasant dinner and Sebastian would get to know Kurt and it would be wonderful. Nick was _determined_.

Sebastian came out from the bedroom with a smile on his face. Nick was surprised to find he was only wearing a t-shirt but he figured if Sebastian was comfortable, it didn't matter. Kurt appeared from the kitchen, arms full of drinks but he turned a smile to Sebastian.

"Sebastian, this is Kurt. Kurt, this is Sebastian," Nick introduced them as he stepped towards the kitchen. "I'll just grab the dinner."

Nick could hear them talking but didn't focus on the words as he grabbed the spaghetti and the sauce. He set them on the table where the other three boys were sitting, Kurt and Sebastian exchanging pleasantries.

"So you're studying dramatic art, yeah? What are you hoping to get into?" Sebastian asked as he cracked open the can of Coke.

"Broadway is my calling and has been since I was five years old," Kurt said proudly. "I've auditioned for a few things but there aren't a lot of roles around for a counter-tenor."

Sebastian nodded. "I'm sure you'll find something."

"What about you? What kind of work is there around for people with your … experience?"

Nick felt tense then and saw Sebastian narrow his eyes. _Don't ruin my perfect dinner. Don't ruin my perfect dinner._

"A fair share more than for a counter tenor – probably pays a lot better too. Nothing like a wad of cash from a New York lawyer who wants you to forget his face."

"Yeah, because your profession is so exclusive. What are you saving up for? A crack house all for yourself? A diamond encrusted syringe? Luxury condoms?"

"Kurt, what the hell?" Nick exclaimed but Sebastian didn't seem too taken aback.

"Acting isn't all that different from prostitution. You get paid for whatever God-given talents you were born with, or you don't." Sebastian had a wicked look in his eyes that made Nick wonder if he'd fought this battle before.

"Yeah well, at least I don't rape the guy who's giving me a place to stay."

Nick froze. They hadn't fought _this_ battle before. Sebastian dropped his fork onto his plate before standing and stalking off, slamming the bathroom door behind him. Nick turned a glare on Kurt, Blaine didn't say anything.

"What the fuck was that, Hummel?' Nick asked angrily, throwing his own fork down.

"He _used_ you, Nick! He took advantage of you're stupid good nature!" Kurt exclaimed.

"That doesn't mean he _raped_ me!"

"So you willingly consented to have sex with a freaking prostitute?"

"I consented to have sex with a guy I was letting stay the night because he was sick and had nowhere else to go."

"Yeah, and he probably gave you an STD."

"Neither of us have any fucking STDs, we checked!"

"Stop yelling!" Blaine exclaimed but Kurt was on a roll.

"Why the hell do you want him?! He'll only hurt you! He already has! You've missed two weeks of classes – how much more are you gonna sacrifice for this guy?!"

Nick stood up then, thrusting a finger towards the door. "Get out. You're not gonna fucking talk like that about Sebastian while I'm around. Because I will go to the ends of the earth if it means Sebastian is safe and happy. If you don't want to help me, fine, that's your loss. But get the fuck out."

"Nick, I-"

"No. Save it."

Nick watched as Blaine and Kurt silently got to their feet and left. He finally released the pent up breath he'd been holding onto, panting slightly before he composed himself as best as he could. He looked to the bathroom door, could hear the muffled sounds of sobs on the other side.

Nick shuffled over and knocked on the door, leaning against the frame. "Seb, are you okay?" Silence. "I'm sorry about what Kurt said. He's a bastard. I honestly didn't know he was gonna do that… Will you let me in?"

There was another long pause before the lock clicked and Nick looked to Sebastian sadly when the door opened. Blood was dripping down from cuts in his wrist and there were tears in his eyes.

"Seb, what do you need me to do?" Nick asked quietly.

"A-Are they gone?"

"Yes, they've gone to Kurt's. But you're bleeding, Seb. Will you let me clean you up?"

"Th-They said I hurt you! Is that true? Do you think that?" The panic was obvious and Nick quickly caught on to what was going on in Sebastian's head.

"I don't think that. You've never done anything to hurt me, okay? I promise."

"But is it _true_?"

"No, Kurt was wrong and he was being a dick."

Sebastian breath hitched harshly before he fell to his knees, holding his head in his hands. "Oh god…"

Nick moved to kneel in front of him, carefully taking one of Sebastian's hands. "Try to breathe, Seb. You need to try and calm down, okay?"

"I-I don't understand! Why would he say that? Why would he say it if it isn't true?" Sebastian asked as he squeezed Nick's hand.

"He just doesn't understand. But we'll change that. We'll show him that you're a good guy."

"I-I don't want to see him! Don't make me see him, Nick! Hide me, please!" Sebastian threw himself into Nick's arms, crying into his shoulder. Nick rubbed his back and rocked him gently. It was like Sebastian was a kid again and it occurred to Nick that maybe Sebastian never became much more than a kid.

"You don't have to see him now, Seb. Only when you're ready. It's just us for now, okay? We'll get you cleaned up and go to bed and watch a movie. Does that sound good?"

"Don't leave me, Nick!"

Nick hugged him tighter. "I'll never leave you. I promise."

It took a good half hour before Sebastian finally pulled away from Nick. He wiped at his nose and dried his eyes before he looked back down at his wrist. "I didn't mean to cut… I didn't know how to stop the feelings. They just wouldn't go away…"

"It's okay, we'll clean you up," Nick said with a smile before he stood. He soaked a cloth under the tap. "Sit on the edge of the tub."

Sebastian obeyed silently and watched as Nick carefully wiped away the blood. Nick had never noticed before how intricate the maze of scars on Sebastian's wrist was. He finished wiping up the blood as best as he could before he carefully wrapped Sebastian's arm in a bandage. He had stocked up when Sebastian had moved in.

"Jesse used to cut me," Sebastian murmured.

"Why did he do that?" Nick asked, looking up into Sebastian's green eyes.

"Jesse wasn't particularly nice to me, either." Sebastian said, his voice thick with sarcasm. "He'd get high and fuck me. He liked seeing the blood though. And I let him…"

"Can I ask why?"

"Because letting them is easier than fighting. They make it worse if you fight." The dark look was back in Sebastian's eyes and Nick shook his head as he stood.

"Come on, let's go watch a movie. Any preferences?"

Sebastian thought for a moment. "_Enchanted_?"

Nick smiled. "You go get in bed; I'll grab my laptop from the living room."

Sebastian nodded and disappeared into the bedroom while Nick fetched his laptop. He pulled the DVD off the shelf and flicked off the lights. He checked the door was locked before heading into his room where Sebastian was climbing under the covers. He'd tugged off his shirt which lay on the floor beside the bed but there were no jeans on the floor so Nick relaxed.

They cuddled as they watched the movie. Nick felt the songs was taunting him with "_True Love's Kiss_" and _"That's how you know she's your love_" but he didn't say anything. He just let Sebastian smooth his hand over his chest and nuzzle his shoulder before they fell asleep tangled together in the dark.

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**A/N: Another long chapter. We'll get a bit of an explanation next chapter for quite a few things. But things **_**will**_** get worse before they get better. I hope you're still enjoying this though. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think :) –Em xoxo**

**PS. I also posted the Second Chance verse playlist on my tumblr today (finally). You can find it under the tag "second chance verse" or by going to my blog cre8iveovadose dot tumblr dot com (should still be on the first page).**


	6. Chapter 6

Warnings: Swearing, talk of past abuse, talk of depression, talk of homelessness, talk of past death, talk of self-harm

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 6:**

The following morning found Nick and Sebastian cleaning up the dinner they had left on the table before messing it up again with pancakes for breakfast. Sebastian didn't seem too upset which worried Nick but he didn't want to think about what Kurt had said. He just couldn't figure out why Kurt would say such horrible things…

They were settling down to watch a movie when the front door opened and Blaine stepped inside. He didn't say anything, simply closed the door again and pulled off his jacket before he came to sit in the arm chair across from Nick and Sebastian.

"I um, I wanted to apologise for last night. I knew how Kurt felt; I shouldn't have brought him here. I'm not trying to excuse what he said. What he said was terrible," Blaine murmured.

"Then why did you let him say it?" Sebastian growled.

Blaine swallowed and leaned forward slightly. "Honestly… Because you scare me, Sebastian."

"Why? Because I'm homeless?"

"Yes," Blaine said simply. "But not because I think you're gonna kill me or attack me or whatever… You scare me because I could have turned into you."

Nick frowned. "What are you talking about? Your dad's a physicist – when would you ever have had to risk being homeless?"

"Because my dad used to beat the living crap out of me." Blaine looked to Sebastian pointedly and Nick finally understood.

Blaine continued, "He used to beat me. If my mom cared, she didn't show it. My brother just didn't want to deal with it; he left for college as soon as possible. I was alone, and I was running out of reasons to stay so … I left. Of course, I had no idea what I was doing. My dad found me within the week and dragged me home. He sent me to a private boarding school and told me to keep my mouth shut. That was okay with me so instead of dwelling on it, I started helping the people around me."

Nick bit his lip when Blaine's gaze turned to him. Nick simply shook his head.

"Nick, you need to tell him. If he's going to be living here, he needs to understand," Blaine murmured.

Nick shook his head again and felt his throat close. "I can't. I can't."

"If you don't, I will."

"Nick, what's he talking about?" Sebastian asked. Nick could see the worry in his eyes, could feel him seeking out his hand but he only shook his head.

"I can't hurt you. I won't make you suffer."

Sebastian found his hand, squeezing it tightly. "There is** nothing** you could say or do that would make me suffer any more than I already have. You can trust me…"

Nick felt the tears slip down his cheeks as he shook his head again.

"Fine. When we were in our senior year, I found Nick crying in the bathrooms at two in the morning because his mother was in the hospital."

"Blaine!"

Blaine threw up his hands. "You tell him then."

Nick looked to Sebastian and sniffed. "I just… I hurt _so much_ and I don't want you to feel the hurt I have to…"

Sebastian frowned, shaking his head. "You don't have to do this alone. I'm here. Let me help…"

"Tell him, Nick. She'd want you to."

Nick took a deep breath, squeezing Sebastian's hand tightly. "I told you my mom had cancer… I didn't handle it well. I was … _so depressed_ that first year but it just… It never got better. _Mom_ never got better. I studied because it meant I didn't have to think about home. But I couldn't sleep. Blaine was my roommate and he woke up one night and I was gone. He found me in the bathrooms crying with a razor in my hand."

"I batted it out of his hand and he just cried into my shoulder for the rest of the night. His mom's cancer had progressed and it wasn't looking good. It was then that we started making deals," Blaine interjected, watching Nick sadly.

"Deals?" Sebastian asked.

"We'd already been accepted into college, I was set to move to New York with Blaine but when my mom found out I'd tried to cut myself, she didn't want me to go. She wanted me to go into some psychiatric program for the depression, was worried I was going to kill myself. Blaine managed to convince her and my dad that he'd look after me," Nick explained.

"My brother used to cut himself sometimes. He loved me, he wanted to stop my dad but he didn't know how. Cutting was his way of dealing," Blaine added. "I told Nick's parents that I was good at looking after people, that I'd give them fortnightly updates. They agreed to let Nick come to college as long as we stuck together."

"They really trusted you enough to be okay with that? That's incredible," Sebastian said.

"We may have stretched the truth a little. We told them we were going out at the time, just to show that it wasn't just friendship holding us together," Blaine replied. He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Meant a few awkward kisses and a talk from Mr Duval but it was worth it."

Sebastian paled at that. "You pretended you were going out?"

"Yeah, and um, well, while we're telling the truth." Nick took a deep breath. "Blaine and I did sleep together once. Just after I realised I was gay. It was nice, I guess, but it didn't really mean anything."

"Oh," Sebastian whispered, looking down and freeing his hand from Nick's.

"No, no, don't think like that," Nick murmured. "You haven't got in between anything, I promise."

Sebastian nodded but Nick knew he wasn't convinced.

"Nick, how about you tell him about what happened last month," Blaine suggested.

Nick sighed softly and Sebastian could see the darkness in his eyes he thought was only reserved for himself.

"Last month, I got a call from my dad in the middle of a lecture. The school was aware of the situation and I had permission to leave lectures if I needed to. He was calling to tell me that my mom had gotten sick in the night. Gone septic or something. She um, she…"

"Come on, Nick," Sebastian murmured. "You'll feel better if you get it out." He wrapped an arm around Nick's shoulders though he feared he already knew what had happened.

"Dad was calling to tell me that she took a turn. They couldn't do anything to help her. She died."

Nick dissolved into tears and Sebastian pulled him close. Sebastian couldn't imagine how Nick felt but he could see why Nick hadn't wanted to tell him. Nick was in pain and Nick knew pain was catching but Sebastian promised himself. He wasn't going to let him suffer Nick's pain. He was going to help Nick overcome it.

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**A/N: So I kinda changed my mind halfway through so they haven't had their first proper kiss now. I'll try and work it in somewhere … not next chapter, there are things happening next chapter. Chapter 8. There will be an adorable proper first kiss then. But that's pretty much all there is to know about Nick and Seb for this fic. Except for stuff that's happening next chapter. And chapter 8. I have some action-packed stuff coming up for you :) So get ready because you're gonna hate me after chapter 7. Thanks for reading :p –Em xoxo**


	7. Chapter 7

Warnings: Swearing, description of physical/sexual/drug abuse, frank discussion of rape, forced drug use, runaway

Disclaimer: I do not own Seb, Nick or Kurt.

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**CHAPTER 7:**

Nick and Sebastian grew nearly inseparable after that. Sebastian could tell that Nick was falling for him but he didn't try to pressure him into anything. For the moment, he was just thankful that Nick was letting him stay.

One night, Sebastian found himself home alone. Blaine's theatre production had finally started and he was gone every night from five until at least twelve. Nick had just left to get some Chinese food for dinner. Sebastian was happily setting the table for him and Nick when there was a knock at the door.

_Nick wouldn't knock, neither would Blaine. Kurt still doesn't like me so he wouldn't be here_. Sebastian froze when the list of people who would want to see him came to the people he didn't want to see.

Taking a deep breath, Sebastian approached the front door as whoever was on the other side knocked again. He unlocked the door and opened it, his jaw dropping when he found a dishevelled Jesse standing in the hallway. The tall blonde boy turned a devilish smile to Sebastian.

"Hey Bas. What's shaking?"

"What do you want, Jesse?"

Jesse shoved past him into the apartment. "I wanted to see where you'd holed yourself up. Was quite surprised when you didn't come home one night last month. Wanted to see what had caught your fancy." He had crossed to the wall where the noticeboard hung, trailing his fingers over the only photo Nick had of him. Sebastian, Nick and Blaine had taken a picture together one night, captioned with "The Gay Musketeers". It was stupid and Sebastian hated it as Jesse looked at it but there was nothing he could do.

"So you've moved in with a couple of twinks. They used to be homeless too?" Jesse asked, turning back to Sebastian.

"No," Sebastian answered curtly. "Listen, you need to get out. Nick will be back soon and you can't be here when he gets home."

"Why not, Bas? You ashamed of your past?"

"No, but I don't want him to meet you."

"Why?"

"Because he might be angry at you for beating me up that night."

"Well, why don't I stay and we find out?" Jesse said as he moved to stand barely an inch from Sebastian. He lifted a hand to Sebastian's cheek, stroking his thumb over the boy's cheekbone. "We could kill some time. I've got some speed if you want it."

"I'm not using anymore, Jesse," Sebastian answered as he pulled away.

Jesse laughed outright at that. "Yeah, sure, and I live in a three storey mansion." He moved closer to Sebastian again, gripping his hips and holding him steady as he kissed him. Sebastian didn't fight; he just hoped Nick didn't walk in.

"You're still the same little bitch I saved from the homeless shelter a year and a half ago, Sebastian." Sebastian shivered as Jesse reached for the zipper on his jeans. "You're a drug addict. You're homeless. And you belong to me."

"I never belonged to you," Sebastian hissed. He felt Jesse tense up and step away before a fist collided with his face that sent him sprawling. His head hit the wooden floorboards with a resounding _thud_. Sebastian groaned and blinked to try and clear his vision but Jesse was already kneeling over his hips.

"You're _mine_!" He snarled before laughing again. "Or do you enjoy being a fuck buddy for a couple of prep school twinks?!"

"It's not like that!" Sebastian cried. "I love Nick! He's taking care of me! He _loves_ me!"

"How do you know, Bas? Has he told you?" Jesse undid the fly of his jeans, reaching into his underwear and stroking harshly. "Does he touch you like this, Bas? Does he make you _feel good_?"

"He doesn't have to rape me to make me feel good," Sebastian spat. Jesse's open palm struck his cheek and Sebastian gasped at the stinging.

"You **want** me to rape you, Sebastian?! Because I will – you fucking know that!" Jesse stood up, pulling Sebastian to his feet before slamming him against the wall. The pain was making Sebastian queasy and he couldn't focus. He had to get Jesse out before Nick came back…

"Please Jesse, just go. Just leave me alone…"

"No. I'm gonna fuck you and remind you who's boss." He gripped Sebastian's throat before digging into his pocket and pulled out a baggie of white pills. "I'm doing something I should have done long ago."

"No! Jesse, no! Please!" Yelling had been a mistake and Sebastian coughed and choked as the pills were shoved down his throat. When the bag was empty, Jesse let Sebastian fall to the floor and watched as he tried to make himself vomit before collapsing into a heap.

"You're living in a fairy tale, Bas. It's only a matter of time before you come crawling back to me and when you do, I'll be waiting." Jesse kicked him hard in the stomach before he stalked out, slamming the door behind him.

Sebastian cried to himself for a few moments before his mind caught up with him. He had just had a bag of speed shoved down his throat. He needed to get to the hospital.

Pushing himself to his feet, Sebastian staggered towards the door. His head was pounding and his ribs ached but he had to get to the emergency room or he was going to die. He glanced back to the apartment with a sad expression before opening the door and disappearing into the night.

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Nick sighed happily as he opened the door to the apartment. The Chinese take-out bag was heavy and he was glad to set it on the table but was surprised to find Sebastian wasn't waiting for him.

_Calm down, he might just be in the bathroom_.

Nick took a deep breath and checked in the bedroom before knocking on the closed bathroom door.

"Hey Seb, you in there? Dinner's here."

Nick waited but there was no response. He tried the handle and the door opened without complaint. Sebastian was nowhere to be seen.

Nick checked the noticeboard but there were no notes explaining where Sebastian might have gone. He turned to check Blaine's room in a last ditch effort when he felt his foot slip on the floorboards. Looking down, Nick found a small plastic ziplock bag. He carefully picked it up, surprised to find the opening wet. He turned it over in his hands to find a small label written on in black permanent marker in the corner.

_Speed. Ten caps._

Nick froze. _Oh God. What the fuck has he done?_

Nick pulled out his phone, dialling Kurt's number.

"Hey Nick."

"Kurt, I need your help. I wouldn't ask you but Blaine's performing and I can't do this alone."

"What's wrong? What's happened?"

"Seb's gone. I went out to get dinner and when I came back, he was gone. But I found a bag that was wet with I think saliva and had "speed" written on it."

"Shit. Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. Meet me outside the apartment building, okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks." Nick hung up and glanced around the apartment.

_Where are you?_

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**A/N: Please don't throw things at me. I'll fix it soon, I promise. If I update again tonight it won't be for quite a while because there's a few other things I need to catch up on (including planning for this fic). But I hope you're still enjoying it. Thanks for reading –Em xoxo**


	8. Chapter 8

Warnings: Medical squick, talk of drug overdose and medical conditions, swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 8:**

Kurt met Nick outside the apartment within the hour before they bolted off to find Sebastian. They had no idea where he would have gone. But Nick had spent long enough wandering around Williamsburg that he'd picked up on where the homeless people would stay. They searched all of the places within a ten minute walk of the apartment but they didn't find him.

"Where else would he go, Nick? Would he go back across the river?" Kurt asked.

"No, no – he was trying to stay away from the people he knew there. He has to be in Williamsburg somewhere!"

"Nick, you said you found a bag in the apartment with "speed" written on it! If he's high on speed, he's gonna be running a million miles an hour. He could be _anywhere _by now!" Kurt said exasperatedly.

"You don't understand," Nick said as he shook his head. "I have to find him. I need to make sure he's okay."

"I understand, Nick. I swear. If Blaine was lost, I'd be freaking out too but we can't find him ourselves. There are eight million people in this city, what do you think the chances are of us finding one?" Kurt shook his head. "Especially when he has nowhere to go and there's no way for us to contact him."

"What about the hospital? He could have gotten hurt! He could have overdosed!"

Kurt gripped Nick's shoulders, holding him steady. "Nick, if he's overdosed, there is nothing we can do. We can do one more sweep of the area but you need to go home before you worry yourself into a coma."

Nick looked up at Kurt and could see that he was right, as much as he didn't want to. He stepped into Kurt's arms, hugging his middle and trying to take deep breaths. He felt Kurt rubbing his back before the older boy stepped away.

"Come on, let's head back before you catch cold or something equally absurd."

Nick walked slowly back to the apartment, scanning everything they passed. When they got back to the street the apartment was on, Nick paused outside the alleyway. He could feel Kurt's eyes on him as he peered into the darkness. He heard a coughing and his eyes lit up before he ran into the alley, searching for the source.

He found, hunched in the dark behind the dumpster, a boy but he wasn't Sebastian. Nick sighed before the kid looked up at him.

"Whatta you want?" the kid asked.

"Nothing, uh… Actually. Do you know a guy called Sebastian? Tall, light brown hair, green eyes. Used to turn tricks around here, from the East Village."

"I might…"

"I will give you twenty bucks if you tell me everything you know about Sebastian from the last twelve hours."

The kid eyed him warily but shrugged and offered the information. "Saw him about two hours ago. He looked like he was speeding pretty bad, muttering to himself, panicky. I didn't hear what he was saying. He ran off that way." The kid pointed up the street.

Nick pulled out twenty dollars from his pocket. "Thanks kid." He buried his hands in his pockets and turned back to Kurt. "He was high. Muttering and panicky."

"That's great Nick, but you need to sleep."

"I can't! He could die!"

"Nick, he's lived on the streets before, he can do it again for one more night. There's nothing we can do right now except go home and hope for the best."

Nick was reluctant but he let Kurt take him inside. The Chinese food he had left on the table had gone cold so Kurt threw it out and set about making grilled cheese sandwiches. Nick sat on the couch, trying not to let his mind run away with him but he was finding it difficult.

It wasn't long before he found himself lying in the dark in his room. His bed felt too big without Sebastian. He felt cold and lonely and couldn't help but wonder if that was how Sebastian felt as well.

Eventually, Nick drifted off to sleep but not before promising that he wouldn't stop until he found Sebastian.

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Nick groaned when he woke to the loud ringing of his phone. It was light outside and he didn't recognise the number flashing on the screen but he answered anyway.

"Hello?"

"Is that Nick Duval?" The female voice on the other end sounded familiar.

"Yeah. What's going on?"

"It's Doctor Radley from the hospital. We met when you brought in your friend last month."

"Oh, hi," Nick said as he sat up and yanked off the covers. "Well, is everything okay?"

"Um, yes and no."

"That doesn't sound very promising," Nick said as he tried to laugh off his nerves.

"Sorry. I didn't know who else to call though. At about eight o'clock last night, your friend Sebastian Smythe was found in the hospital car park."

"You found him?! Oh thank god!"

"Yes we did, but that's not all. He had overdosed on amphetamines – they're usually called "speed" by drug users."

"Crap. I'd been hoping he hadn't used again… I went out to get dinner for us but when I came back, he was gone."

"Yes, he explained that much to me but he hasn't been very well this morning. Are you able to get down to the hospital?"

"I can, sure. Shouldn't be more than an hour."

"Alright, when you get here, go to intensive care and I'll meet you there."

"Okay. Thank you so much for letting me know."

"You're welcome. I'll see you soon."

Nick hung up. He tugged on some jeans and a sweater before heading out to the living room where Kurt and Blaine were sitting at the table. They looked to him worriedly.

"Any news?" Blaine asked.

"Sebastian's at the hospital. Someone found him in the parking lot, overdosing. The doctor just called me, had my number on record from when we took him in," Nick explained. "I've said I'll be there within the hour."

"I'll come with you," Blaine said as he stood. "In case it's bad."

Nick nodded, knowing that fighting would be pointless. "Thanks Blaine."

"I'll stay and clean up," Kurt answered. "I hope he's okay, Nick."

Nick nodded again before he and Blaine grabbed their coats and left. It wasn't a long walk to the hospital but it was long enough that Nick had imagined every possible outcome by the time they got to intensive care.

Doctor Radley was waiting with a clipboard and a solemn smile. "Hi Nick. It's good to see you again."

"Good to see you too," Nick answered though he didn't agree. "This is Blaine, he's me and Sebastian's roommate."

"So Sebastian's living with you now?"

"Yeah, he moved in after he was here last time." Nick ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Can I see him? Is he okay?"

"He's alive and he's lucid but very, very tired. He had a few seizures while he was being brought in and it's suspected that he'd had at least one before he was found. He remembers what happened but he hasn't told us quite everything yet. There's been a lot of nausea and vomiting so we've got him on an IV for fluids but we need to get some food in him as soon as possible. He's also on a couple of drugs to control the seizures."

"But is he going to be okay? Like, are the seizures a permanent fixture now?" Nick asked as he folded his arms across his chest.

"They shouldn't be. There were also some issues with intracranial pressure. There was quite a large bump on his head and I suspect he hit his head pretty hard before he got here. There was a subdural hematoma that we drained when he was brought in. We had to drill a small hole into his skull and drain the blood but that's a minor procedure and except for some pain at the site, he should be fine."

"Anything else?" Blaine asked. He could see how pale Nick was getting and just wanted the explanation to be finished so they could go and see Sebastian.

"Quite a few bruises, actually. On both arms, one side of his ribcage and around his neck."

"His neck?" Nick questioned.

"Yes, as if someone had choked him, or tried to. And the bruises on his ribcage were congruent with being kicked."

Nick sighed heavily and swallowed harshly before asking, "Can I please just see him?"

Doctor Radley nodded. "Of course. He might still be asleep but you can sit with him for a few minutes."

Doctor Radley led Blaine and Nick down the corridor and into a room where Sebastian was lying in bed talking to a nurse.

"- really hope he understands. I don't wanna lose him."

"Don't wanna lose who?" Nick asked with a smile. He made a beeline for the chair next to the bed, sitting down and carefully taking Sebastian's hand.

"Nick, I'm so sorry I ran. I was trying to get here. I knew I needed help. I didn't wanna take the pills. Jesse made me."

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I believe you. I'm not angry, I promise. I'm just glad you're okay."

Sebastian nodded shakily and looked to Blaine. "Take care of him, okay?"

"I will," Blaine said simply.

Nick looked back to Doctor Radley. "How long will he have to stay here?"

"A few days. A week at the most. Amphetamine overdoses can sometimes last for a few days so we just need to keep tabs on him."

Nick nodded and turned back to Sebastian seriously. "I'll be here every day. Anything you need."

Sebastian smiled and squeezed his hand gently.

"We also need to think about some counselling or rehab for Sebastian," Doctor Radley added. "I understand that this was forced, Sebastian. But I can't ignore the fact that you have a history of drug abuse."

"I know… Could I have some time with Nick now?"

Doctor Radley nodded before she, Blaine and the nurse disappeared. The door closed behind them and Nick stood, trying to push Sebastian's hair out of his eyes but the bandage around his head made it difficult.

"I was so worried about you," Nick murmured. "I just needed to know you were okay…"

"I know," Sebastian replied as he held Nick's hand to his cheeks. "I just panicked… I didn't want you to find me dead or anything…"

"It's okay, I understand." Nick leaned down to look into Sebastian's eyes, clouded with the medicine he was on. "But I love you, alright? Don't forget that."

"Really?" Sebastian asked, not quite believing it.

Nick smiled and kissed him gently. "Really really."

Nick gently rested his forehead against Sebastian's, hoping he wasn't causing him any pain. He was just glad Sebastian was safe and alive. Everything was going to be okay.

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**A/N: I am so sorry about that last chapter. I felt so bad when I got messages from upset people. But it needed to happen. Everything will be okay for a while. I've planned the rest of the story (except the ending, I'm not quite sure about it but I have time) so things will probably tumble out pretty fast from here on out. I hope you liked the reunion and let me tell you, there is nothing like reading up on subdural hematoma in the middle of the night :p Thanks for reading, reviews are always appreciated –Em xoxo**


	9. Chapter 9

Warnings: Talk of past trauma and parental death, depression

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 9:**

Sebastian was in the hospital for four days before he and Nick came back to the apartment to sort through a list of support groups and counsellors that would hopefully be able to help Sebastian. There were a surprising number in Williamsburg but Sebastian settled on the ones closest to the apartment. They made appointments and got into contact with group co-ordinators before they crawled into bed to watch a movie.

Life began to find a routine again. Nick went to his classes, Sebastian went to his appointments. And then Sebastian started working on getting his GED, at the suggestion of his counsellor. Nick was proud of his decision to do this; Sebastian was so smart and he hated seeing him waste the mind Nick wished he had. So Sebastian added it to his list of things to do. And a week later, Nick came home to find that he had gotten himself a job at one of the restaurants down the street washing dishes.

Nick had had to kiss him when he found out about that. He and Sebastian hadn't talked too much about Nick's confession of love. They held each other while they slept and Nick often woke to a kiss but it mostly felt like it was kept behind closed doors. Nick wanted more but he knew he couldn't ask anything else of Sebastian, not yet. But when Nick went to pick him up from his counsellor one night to go see a movie, he smiled at overhearing Sebastian calling him his "boyfriend".

Nick was also surprised to learn one night that Kurt had apologised to Sebastian. He had come by when he and Blaine were out. Sebastian had only said that they had come to an agreement to be civil and that Kurt would reserve his opinions and not say anything "inflammatory". Nick hadn't been sure what to take from that but he decided that progress was progress.

Life was almost back to normal again. The only thing that reminded Nick that what had happened was real was when he caught Sebastian staring off into nothing or grinding his teeth as the memories rocked him. Sebastian had told Nick everything that had happened when he came home from the hospital. The thing that Nick had found worst though was that Sebastian wished he couldn't remember anything. It was a hard thing to come to terms with but they were managing.

The Thanksgiving break was creeping up on them. Blaine was driving back to Ohio with Kurt for Thanksgiving but Nick hadn't made any plans. Part of Sebastian wanted him to go but he understood why Nick was reluctant to. It wasn't until he came home one night hoping for help with his biology course that his suspicions were confirmed.

"Hey Nick, could you help me with-" Sebastian's breath caught when he saw Nick was sitting on the couch. Sebastian had been sure the dining table piled with textbooks was a permanent fixture of Nick's anatomy and he felt the worry stir within him. He dropped his bag on one of the kitchen chairs before moving to sit on the couch beside Nick.

Nick was sitting cross-legged with a photo album open in his lap. Sebastian looked down at the photos. A young boy on a woman's lap, both with warm smiles. A scrap of fabric taped onto the page. Hospital admission bracelets.

"Nick? Is everything okay?" Sebastian asked as he carefully wound an arm around Nick's shoulders.

"It's been three months, Seb… Only three months. I don't know if I can go back… There's so much there to remind me of her…"

Sebastian frowned sadly. "When was the last time you were home, though?"

"Her funeral. I haven't had time to go back until now," Nick murmured with a pointed glance at Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled softly. "Exactly how long had it been when you met me?"

Nick closed the photo album and looked up at the opposite wall. "About two weeks."

Sebastian glanced down before he shuffled closer and pulled Nick into his arms. Nick rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder but didn't say anything further.

"Why don't we go back to Ohio with Blaine and Kurt?" Sebastian asked. "You need to see your family, Nick. Take it from someone who knows – Thanksgiving without your family absolutely sucks."

"You can be my family this year," Nick pleaded. "I don't know how to deal with this, Seb. I can't go back…"

Sebastian leaned in and kissed him gently, stroking his hair. "You have to go back eventually. They'll want to see you, Nick. I'll come with you, we can do it together."

"Are you sure?"

Sebastian nodded surely. "Absolutely." He squeezed Nick's hand. "You've spent so much time looking after me… Let me return the favour."

Nick swallowed and nodded, tears welling in his eyes as he snuggled into Sebastian. "I love you."

"I know," Sebastian murmured. He kissed the top of Nick's head and rubbed his back gently before he began to realise.

He was going home.

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**A/N: I'm sorry this is so short. Next two chapters will definitely be longer but I needed to sort out some timeline stuff and y'know, that whole cause and effect stuff :p But I hope you're enjoying it, let me know what you're thinking :) –Em xoxo**


	10. Chapter 10

Warnings: Spoilers for SMASH (2x14), swearing, talk of triggers for drug addiction/depression/self-harm/suicide, mention of past attack, mention of past attempted rape

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the show they watch.

A/N: Today's SMASH hit me like a tonne of bricks, worse than Shooting Star, so I had to work it in here somehow. Indulge me. I hope you enjoy it xx

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**CHAPTER 10:**

It was a long drive to Ohio but the boys managed it. There were a lot of show tunes and Katy Perry songs involved. Kurt and Blaine were glad to have Nick and Sebastian along for the ride though. They just wished they could ease the boys' nerves.

When they were dropped off outside Nick's house, it was dark but the warm light spilling out from the windows reminded Nick that this was home. He gripped Sebastian's hand tightly and they made their way up to the door. It burst open as Nick raised a hand to knock and he was dragged inside by his younger sister. Sebastian laughed before slowly making his way inside. Nick's younger brother was inside, climbing all over him as well and Sebastian saw Nick's father standing off to the side. Sebastian shifted uncomfortably and found himself staring at the floor.

"Nick! You didn't tell us you were coming back!" his brother exclaimed.

"You stopped calling to talk about SMASH! We have to watch it so we can talk about it!" his sister shouted.

"I'm not doing anything until you get off me!" Nick yelled back, half angry and half laughing.

"Come on kids, let your brother go. You've gotta _ease_ him back into putting up with you. Three months is a long time," Mr Duval said with a laugh. He stepped forward and embraced his son. "It's good to see ya bud."

"S'good to see you too, Dad," Nick murmured before he stepped away and turned to Sebastian. "Seb, this is my dad Jonathan. My brother's Tim and my sister Kylie."

"Nice to meet you," Sebastian answered. "I'm Sebastian Smythe, I'm Nick's boyfriend."

Sebastian noticed Jonathan raise an eyebrow at his son but he didn't say anything other than, "Pleasure to meet you."

"Dinner ready yet?" Nick asked, a cheeky grin plastered across his face.

"It'll be another hour," Jonathan answered with a smile. "You kids go catch up."

Nick nodded before Kylie grabbed his hand and dragged him towards the living room.

"Come on! We have to watch SMASH! The new episode's so _sad_!" Kylie exclaimed. Sebastian followed with Tim, the younger boy seeming shy and sheepish.

"Kylie, I don't think that's such a great idea…"

"It's fine! It's not really sad, just sweet and adorable with a touch of sad!"

"Watch it, Nick. I'm interested to see what kind of stuff you like rather than those goddamn reality TV shows Blaine's addicted to," Sebastian laughed as he sat down on the couch.

Nick sighed heavily. "Fine, put it on Kylie," he said as he collapsed into the couch beside Sebastian. "Tell me if you wanna go."

"Why would I wanna go?" Sebastian asked quietly.

It took five minutes for Sebastian to understand Nick's reservations. Jimmy was triggering as all sweet hell – even just his name made Sebastian's skin crawl. But he made it through the episode, squeezing Nick's hand tightly as the credits rolled.

"What'd you think?" Kylie asked excitedly.

"I just don't get why they've killed him. What's the point?" Tim asked.

Kylie sighed and rolled her eyes. "You just don't understand good television."

Tim shook his head as he got to his feet. "I'm gonna go help Dad finish dinner."

"Kylie, you should help too," Nick murmured.

"Fine," she said exasperatedly as she disappeared into the kitchen.

Nick turned to Sebastian, an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be fine," Sebastian shook his head and smiled as he cupped Nick's cheek. "I wouldn't know what to do if I lost you either… I just understand how he's feeling… I'd be so lost."

Nick went to respond but was interrupted by Sebastian kissing him fiercely. Nick gasped softly before he kissed him back, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Sebastian's hair. He could feel the weirdly shaped scar from the overdose, thought about the bruises that had marred his ribs for two weeks. Nick wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck, wishing he could hold onto him forever.

Sebastian broke the kiss. "We should go have dinner," he whispered. Nick nodded and they got to their feet, Sebastian pulling him for one more kiss before Nick led him by the hand into the dining room. The table was almost overflowing with food and Nick smiled as he breathed in the comforting smell of roast turkey and gravy. The rest of the Duvals were sitting around the table and they smiled as Nick and Sebastian took their seats.

"Alright, before we devour this meal I've spent the last three months learning how to cook, the only Thanksgiving tradition I'm asking of you three this year," Jonathan looked around the table seriously. "And Sebastian, of course. It's the tradition you're mother started. We'll go around the table, at least _one_ thing we're thankful for."

"I'll start," Tim offered. "I'm thankful for Dad, for staying sane enough to get us all together for Thanksgiving and for making this awesome dinner."

Kylie followed. "I'm thankful for Mom, that she brought us all together so that we would still have each other when she was gone." She seemed to shrink into herself and Sebastian watched as Jonathan took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Um, I'm not sure what to say," Nick murmured. "I'm thankful to Blaine and Kurt for letting Seb and I tag along when they drove back. I'm thankful for my friends and family. I'm thankful that I have somewhere to sleep tonight."

Sebastian felt Nick squeeze his knee under the table before he offered his own thankfulness. "I'm thankful to have somewhere to spend Thanksgiving, to have friends who look out for me and," he looked to Nick, "I'm really thankful for you, Nick. I was worried that I was never going to feel okay again – and then I met you."

There was a brief awkward silence before Jonathan finished. "Well, I'm thankful for my three beautiful children and I'm thankful that you're all happy. I'm thankful that I get to spend this holiday with all of you. And I'm thankful to know that those New Yorkers are taking care of my oldest." He flashed a smile at Sebastian.

They dug into the meal then, talking about everything that they had all been up to. Leaving out Sebastian's drug problems and the overdose. Nick would talk to his father about that privately – if it came up.

After dinner, Sebastian returned to the living room to watch a movie with Kylie and Tim while Nick helped his dad clean up.

"How'd you meet Sebastian?" Jonathan asked as he rinsed the gravy boat.

"Uh, one night stand, actually," Nick answered. It was _technically_ true.

"He seems … I don't know. There's something about him…"

Nick sighed. "I know he's not like Blaine but … we need each other. I love him, and we need each other."

"What did he mean by having somewhere to go for Thanksgiving? Doesn't he have any family?"

"Family is a bit of a grey area for Sebastian," Nick admitted. "He uh, his dad was an asshole. And his brother."

"No mother?"

"I think his mom's alive, I don't know."

"He has a scar on his head."

Nick felt his heart skip a beat. He had forgotten that the scar was actually noticeable from a distance. "Yeah, he uh, was attacked last month."

"Attacked? Why?" Nick had forgotten how quickly Jonathan could jump into overprotective parent mode.

"Sebastian has – well, _had_, a problem with drugs… He was homeless and one of the guys he used to kinda tag along with tracked him down one night. He was home alone, I was out getting dinner. The guy crammed drugs down his throat, beat him, tried to uh," Nick took a deep breath as he looked to the floor. "Tried to rape him… I got a call from the hospital the next morning."

"Oh god… A-Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Would they hurt you?"

"I don't think so, I'm not sure if they know about me," Nick answered with a shrug.

Jonathan looked straight at his son. "But are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Dad. I was a little shaken at first but Seb and Blaine keep me going. They keep me safe."

Jonathan stepped forward and embraced his son. "Good, because I never want to lose you, Nick."

"I know Dad, I know."

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**A/N: Unfortunately I'm gonna have to take a break before the next update. I've been wondering why my arm was hurting and oh duh, it's because I've written ~12,000 words since Thursday night. So I'm gonna take a break for tonight, and get back into it tomorrow. Thanks for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	11. Chapter 11

Warnings: Swearing, grieving

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 11:**

It had been Kurt's suggestion on the drive from New York to go to the cemetery for Nick to visit his mother's grave. Sebastian and Blaine had been enthusiastic about it and so Nick found himself driving to his mother's grave.

"Are you scared?" Sebastian asked. He had been watching Nick while they drove, could see the white knuckles and the tension in his jaw.

"I don't wanna talk about it," Nick mumbled.

"You need to Nick… I told you-"

"What you did doesn't fucking matter!" Nick yelled. He saw Sebastian shrink away from the corner of his eye and he sighed heavily. "Sorry, sorry. Fuck I'm an insensitive bastard."

"You are scared though, aren't you?" Sebastian asked. He leaned his head against the window, watching Nick as he gripped his knee, trying to quench the anxiety bubbling inside him.

"I just… How do we know this is going to make anything better?"

"We don't, but we try anyway," Sebastian answered with a soft smile. "I know it's been hard but you can do this. I believe in you."

They were stopped at traffic lights and Nick turned to smile at Sebastian. In turn, Sebastian leaned forward and kissed Nick gently. The honking of horns broke them apart and Nick sped off towards the cemetery again, laughing brightly.

They parked at the front of the cemetery before they got out and made their way arm in arm up the hill. Nick liked being with Sebastian in Ohio – he knew nothing could hurt either of them. It was bitterly cold and droplets of rain fell from the sky but Nick felt warm and happy as they walked through the dewy grass.

They found his mother's grave, the ground above where the coffin had been lowered still not quite settled. Nick bobbed down before the headstone, tracing his mother's name.

"What was she like?" Sebastian asked from where he stood behind Nick.

"She was … _happy_, and she baked a lot. She always made us cookies or muffins to take to school for lunch. Even when she got sick, she was always happy."

"I'll leave you for a while, okay? I'm gonna go see if I can find my grandma's grave."

Nick snapped his head around to question Sebastian but his boyfriend was gone. Shaking his head, Nick looked back to his mother's headstone before moving to sit cross-legged in front of it. What the hell was he supposed to say to a slab of stone?

"So um… It's Nick. I've come back from New York for Thanksgiving and Sebastian dragged me up here today. Sebastian's um, he's my boyfriend. He's nice enough; I think you'd like him. I _hope_ you'd like him. He's important to me… I'm sorry; I really don't know what to say. I don't feel like anything's happened that's worth telling you."

_You know that's a lie_.

Nick sighed and shook his head. "I just… I still don't want you to worry. I still feel like I'm in New York on probation. That if Dad thinks I'm upset or something, he'll make me come home. I hate lying to him! I want to tell him everything about Sebastian, about how his dad and brother used to abuse him – how they almost _killed_ him. But you know what Dad's like, he'd just jump to the conclusion that I'm mixing with bad people and that Sebastian's gonna hurt me.

"He isn't though, I swear. He's so… He's so beautiful, Mom. I just look at him and I feel like everything's okay. He holds me and I know nothing can hurt me… I will put up with all of his counselling and anxiety and fear and his messed up way of thinking because I just love him. There's no other way to say it. I love him and I will wait as long as it takes for him to be able to say it back."

Nick felt the tears sliding down his cheeks and he shook as his breath hitched. "I wish you were here, Mom. I wish I'd said goodbye. I just want – I want one more hug, one more of your stupid frickin' cookies. I want you to tell me that it's all going to be okay. Why the fuck did you have to go?! Why didn't they try harder to save you?! Why did you get to leave when I'm the one who can't deal with this?!"

Nick hung his head as he cried, tugging at his hair as he pulled his knees up to his chest. He let his misery consume him, ignored the cold and the probability that there were other people around. He felt his heart pounding in his chest and wished that his mother was there to make it better.

Feeling warmth at his neck, Nick straightened, expecting to find Sebastian sitting beside him but he wasn't there. Nick squinted in the light that shined down upon him and was confused by the warm wind that blew across the field of the cemetery. He looked back to his mother's gravestone and shook his head. It was only coincidence.

Nick wiped the tears from his cheeks and got to his feet. He reached out to touch the cold stone. "I love you, Mom."

Burying his hands in pockets, Nick headed off in search of Sebastian. He scanned the landscape, the only figure tall enough to be Sebastian was standing stationary a few hundred feet further up the hill. As Nick drew nearer, he realised it was Sebastian and he smiled as he came to stand beside his boyfriend.

"Ileana Jenkins," Sebastian murmured. "Best grandmother ever."

"I'm sure she was," Nick replied as he wound an arm around Sebastian's waist. "She'd be proud of you, I reckon."

"Things go okay with your mom?" Sebastian asked as he wrapped an arm around Nick's shoulders and they started heading back to the car.

"Yeah, I guess. Just kinda sat there and cried."

"At least you got something out," Sebastian said before he pressed a kiss to Nick's temple. "Can I ask a favour?"

"Of course."

Sebastian stopped, turning to face Nick. "I want to try and find my mom."

Nick froze. "Are you sure? What if she's still with your dad? Or Jimmy's still there…"

"I need to see her, Nick. I never let her know that I was still alive. What if she's still looking for me? I can't let her live like that…"

"Will your dad try to hurt you if he's there?"

"I hope not," Sebastian said frankly. "But I need to let her know I'm okay, Nick. And I need to know that she's okay too. I need to see it with my own eyes."

Nick nodded slowly. He could understand needing to know.

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**A/N: And off to Sebastian's family we go… Unless anything absolutely drastic changes, there should only be three more chapters. I haven't decided about an epilogue yet, I'll see how you guys feel at the end ;p I hope you're still enjoying this. Updates might be a bit slower though with my hand. S'what I get for falling over on my way to a math exam two years ago hahaha Thanks for reading –Em xoxo**


	12. Chapter 12

Warnings: A little PTSD/anxiety, talk of past homelessness and drug abuse/overdose

Disclaimer: I do not own Nick or Sebastian.

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**CHAPTER 12:**

Nick was surprised when Sebastian led him to a house only a few streets away from his own. It was a nice house with a double garage and two storeys but Nick couldn't help but notice how uptight Sebastian had gotten. He looked to his boyfriend sympathetically.

"We can still turn around, Seb. You don't have to do this."

"You're not gonna change my mind," Sebastian murmured as he got out of the car. Nick sighed and followed him up the garden path to the front door. Sebastian knocked four times before they stepped back as they waited.

"It's gonna be okay," Nick whispered. He squeezed Sebastian's hand tightly but pulled away when the door opened to reveal a tall woman with green eyes that quickly widened.

"S-Sebastian?"

"Hey Mom," Sebastian said simply.

"You – you're alive… You're _home_. Where have you been?"

"I'm sorry, I want to explain everything. Could we come inside?"

"Of course, of course." She stepped aside, watching as her son came inside. "I was just about to make some lunch if you two would like something."

"Sure," Sebastian answered as he glanced around the hallway nervously and rubbed his hands together. "Is uh, is Dad around?"

"No, no. I kicked him out not long after you left… He was in some crazed rage about you being a coward, punched a hole through the wall. He also let it slip that Jimmy had helped him," she raised an eyebrow meaningfully. "I divorced your father and wrote Jimmy out of the will. I wanted to go to the police, have them arrested, but I knew that without you the case would have fallen through."

Sebastian nodded slowly as they followed his mother into the kitchen. "Uh Mom, this is Nick by the way, Nick Duval. Nick, this is my mom Hannah Smythe."

"Wait – you're surname is _actually_ Smythe?" Nick asked disbelievingly.

Sebastian seemed perplexed. "Of course it is… I thought you knew that. You told them who I was at the hospital…"

"No. I went to tell them your surname was "Smith" because I didn't know what it was but Smith seemed too obviously fake. I just said Smythe because I made the realisation halfway through the word."

Sebastian threw his head back and laughed brightly. "Oh god… Nick, you're incredible," he laughed as he took a seat at the table.

"It's nice to meet you, Nick," Hannah said anyway as she sat across from them. "How did you meet my charming son?"

"I uh, I found him coughing in the street by my apartment," Nick answered with a shrug of his shoulder. "Invited him in for something to eat. I never expected him to come back but he did and things … progressed from there."

Hannah glanced between the boys before zeroing in on her son. "Coughing in the street? Where have you been all this time, Sebastian?"

"I've uh, I've been living on the streets," Sebastian answered reluctantly. Nick could see that he was trying to make himself small, as if that would help make telling his story any easier. But then Nick remembered where they were, wondered how many times Sebastian had been shoved around in this house, beaten up, attacked, accused of being inhuman. Nick found himself reflexively searching out Sebastian's hand.

"Where?" Hannah asked. The anxiety in her own voice was clear and Nick began to feel tense himself.

"New York, around the East Village mostly. I've been living with Nick and his roommate for the past couple of months though," Sebastian answered. "Nick's um, he's my boyfriend, actually."

"Oh… So your father, he was right? You are gay?" Hannah asked quietly.

"Y-Yes… Yes I am."

Hannah smiled sadly. "But you're off the streets now, right?"

"Yeah."

"And did you – I mean. You two probably don't notice it but Sebastian… You look like a walking corpse. What happened to you?"

Sebastian swallowed nervously. "I got involved with … a lot of _bad_ people, Mom. A lot of stuff has happened to me that are just … painful. The people I met in the East Village, they got me into a lot of drugs – cocaine and speed mostly, a bit of heroin-"

"Oh my god. Did you ever – I mean, have you ever-"

"I overdosed last month," Sebastian said quietly. "One of the guys who used to um, he was basically a pimp, he tracked me down. Beat me up, got me high. I got to the hospital in time though; I was alright after a couple of days."

"Dear god, Sebastian. Why didn't you ever call me or anything? I could have helped you!"

Nick saw Sebastian flinch at Hannah's raised voice and jumped in to explain as he wound an arm around Sebastian.

"He couldn't call you. He couldn't risk his father finding him," Nick paused to look at Sebastian. "He had to do what he could to keep himself what he considered safe."

Hannah turned to Nick then. "And what have you done for my son?"

Nick sighed. "Well, with a lot of compromising from my roommate, I managed to let Sebastian come and live with me in Williamsburg. We've got him in counselling and he's working on his GED and he's been helping me with my own depression."

"Depression?" Hannah questioned.

"My mom died not long before I met Sebastian," Nick tightened his grip on Sebastian. "He saved me, I saved him."

Hannah nodded slowly. "Well, is there anything I can do now?"

"Don't tell Dad or Jimmy where I am. I'm finally happy, I don't want them to come and ruin it," Sebastian answered. "Tell grandpa that I'm safe, that I miss him. And I might check my room, see if there's anything up there I want."

"Do you need any paperwork? Birth certificate or anything?"

"Uh, that might actually be helpful. We have copies but originals would be good," Sebastian answered.

Hannah nodded. "I can get them for you."

Sebastian stood. "Well I might go check out my stuff. All where I left it?"

"Yes, I didn't have the heart to move it," Hannah answered with a small smile.

Sebastian led Nick upstairs then. His room was at the end of the hall and when they opened the door, it smelled musty and old. The overhead light didn't work, the bulb most likely blown, so Sebastian pulled open the curtains and pushed up the window, letting in the fresh air. Nick looked around the room, surprised to find it was neat. There were only a few small posters on the wall of bands he hadn't heard of for three years. The bookshelf was full of school textbooks and comics.

Sebastian was digging through his wardrobe and when he straightened, he held a small wooden box. He brushed off the dust before he moved to sit on the edge of his old bed, Nick joining him.

Within the wooden box were a small collection of odd trinkets. Ticket stubs from the first _Harry Potter_ movie, a leather bracelet, a small silver bell like off a cat collar and silver ring with some kind of Celtic knot.

"My magic box of memories," Sebastian murmured. "Jimmy helped me make the bracelet. The bell was off our first cat's collar – Smudge. He died when I was ten, had a huge tumour in his throat. And the ring was my grandma's."

"I guess it's coming home with us then?" Nick asked quietly.

Sebastian turned to Nick and leaned in, kissing him gently. "Thank you for coming with me."

"No problem."

Hannah knocked on the door as she came in, a stack of papers in her hand. "I think that's everything," she said as she handed it to Sebastian. "If there's anything else, let me know and I'll send it along."

Sebastian nodded. "Thanks Mom."

"I just wanted to say, Sebastian… I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I should have protected you; I should have stopped it-"

"Yes you should have," Sebastian interjected as he got to his feet. He shrugged and shook his head, glancing around the room. "This is where it all started… And this is where it all ends. I'm not angry at you, Mom. It's over now."

Hannah embraced her son, crying softly as Nick watched from where he sat. He wondered if Sebastian was telling the truth – was this the end?

.

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**A/N: Wooh, cryptic wonderings of Nick. I'll have another update later – ready your feels coz I'm gonna hit them so hard you'll send me to Pluto with your "Why the hell did you do that?!" :p I hope you liked this though, Seb needed to get some closure and some clarity. Thanks for reading, I hope you're having a great day –Em xoxo**


	13. Chapter 13

Warnings: Swearing, mention of past attack, depiction of an attack, depiction of murder, drug abuse, physical violence, physical restraint

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, the movie they watch or the song from the movie.

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**CHAPTER 13:**

The day they returned to New York, Nick found himself home alone in the apartment. Sebastian had a shift at the restaurant and Blaine was at rehearsal. Nick was feeling … well, he didn't know how he felt. Part of him was jealous that Sebastian had reunited with his mother. He had wanted more time, just him and Sebastian. And as he stood in the shower washing off the grime of nine hours in the car, Nick realised just how selfish he was being.

Sebastian had his _family_ back. Why would Nick begrudge him that? He knew it was because he was never going to get his own mother back but he tried not to think about it.

After his shower, Nick found himself at a loss for what to do. He didn't need to make dinner and he had no work to do. He sat on the couch and flicked through the channels before he came to a showing of the first movie Sebastian had watched in the apartment. _Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs_.

Snow White was sitting in the cottage with the dwarves and they were asking her about the Prince when she started to sing.

_Someday my prince will come_

_Someday we'll meet again_

_And away to his castle we'll go_

_To be happy forever I know _

_._

_Some day when spring is here_

_We'll find our love anew_

_And the birds will sing_

_And wedding bells will ring_

_Some day when my dreams come true_

.

Nick sighed softly before someone knocked on the door. He turned off the television and got to his feet, pulling open the door before he frowned in confusion. A tall young man with blonde hair and a dirty-looking beard stood in the hallway. He seemed bedraggled and Nick felt a strange compulsion to take a step back.

"Can I help you?" Nick managed to ask.

"I'm looking for someone. Sebastian? I heard he was living here."

"Um, he's not here right now. He should be back soon if you want to wait."

"Sure," the man smiled but it wasn't convincing. Nick stepped aside as he came in, flinching as he caught the stench that wafted off of him.

"I'm Nick, by the way. You are…?"

"Jesse," he said as he turned just in time to see the horror on Nick's face. "Ah, so you know who I am."

Nick tried to subtly reach into his pocket for his phone to call 911. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do." Jesse laughed as he pointed a finger at Nick. "You know what he said to me before I jammed the drugs down his throat?"

"That you're an asshole."

"No. That you _love_ him. But I saw right through it. He's such a child. You've been using him from the beginning, haven't you? You pulled him off the streets, gave him food and shelter, somewhere warm to sleep." A dark smile crept across Jesse's face. "Your _dick_."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Yes you do – you used Sebastian for sex."

"We had sex _once_, the first night we met! I never used him for-" Nick blinked as the realisation slammed into him. "Oh fuck…"

Nick saw Jesse's smile widen before he stepped forward and his fist collided with Nick's temple. He fell back, his head cracking against the kitchen bench before everything faded to black…

.

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When Nick woke again, he could feel something warm running down the back of his neck. His shoulders hurt and when his vision cleared, he could see that he was tied to a chair with Blaine's skipping ropes. Why oh why had Blaine stopped going to the gym and bought his own equipment? Nick tried to look around but it only made his head pound, the pain worsening when he heard Jesse laugh.

"I never thought Sebastian would go for someone so susceptible to a right hook. I'm kind of enjoying watching you bleed."

"Whatta you want?" Nick asked, his tongue feeling heavy and dumb in his mouth.

"I want to kill you," Jesse said frankly. "You stole my best asset from me. So I'm killing two birds with one stone – Sebastian will come crawling back in his heartbreak and I'll have myself somewhere to run the operation out of."

Nick struggled against his restraints but it only made him feel sick as his head ached. He heard Jesse laugh again before the man was leaning over him, tugging up his sleeve. What was Jesse doing? It didn't make any sense – nothing did. Wait, why was he flicking his arm?

"What…?"

"Need to find a vein. You should have drunk more water today."

Nick frowned before he slowly connected the dots. He tried to pull away from Jesse but he was trapped. He felt a fist collide with his head again, heard himself cry out before Jesse gripped his arm.

"Shut the fuck up and be a good boy," Jesse snarled. "There's nothing you can do."

Nick screamed again when he saw that Jesse was holding a syringe full of some sort of liquid. He heard Jesse tell him to "shut up" again but the sound was muffled by the front door bursting open. Jesse pulled away and Nick burst into tears as he heard someone rush across the room. Through his tears, Nick could see someone wrestling with Jesse. He tried to focus and realised it was Sebastian.

"Seb…"

"Hang on, Nick!"

Nick could feel his eyelids drooping, the blackness encroaching on his vision again. He didn't want to die. He needed to apologise. He reached out with the arm Jesse had freed but Sebastian was too far…

.

.

Sebastian gasped as Jesse punched him in the gut. He fell to his knees, squinting up as Jesse towered over him.

"You made a mistake staying here, Sebastian! And you're little bitch is gonna pay for it!"

Sebastian looked to Nick, feeling a pang in his heart when he saw his boyfriend was unconscious. A fist collided with his head but as he fell, Sebastian reached out and clipped Jesse's knee, forcing him to the floor. Sebastian pulled himself around, grabbing the syringe from Jesse's hand before climbing on top of Jesse.

"Not so nice getting it rather than giving it, huh?" Sebastian spat before he stabbed the syringe into Jesse's neck. He pressed the heroin into Jesse's bloodstream, watching as his eyes grew wide with shock. Sebastian pulled the syringe out and got to his feet, watching as Jesse began gasping for air and shaking violently. He wiped the syringe clean of his fingerprints with his shirt before pressing it into Jesse's hand as his mouth began to turn blue.

Sebastian found Nick's phone on the floor, picking it up and calling 911.

"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.

"One of my friends just overdosed on heroin, I don't think he's gonna make it but my boyfriend is unconscious. Bad wound on the back of his head, lots of blood. I don't think he's taken anything but I can't be sure, I came home and found them."

"Alright, I'm sending an ambulance and police to your location."

"Okay, we're apartment twelve. I'll leave the door open."

"Alright. Good luck."

Sebastian hung up before he approached the chair Nick was tied to, undoing the skipping rope. He tossed the skipping rope into the bathroom, grabbed a towel and returned to Nick's side. He gently pressed the towel to the back of Nick's head, hoping he wasn't too late.

Slowly, Sebastian looked back to where Jesse lay motionless on the floor.

It was done.


	14. Chapter 14

Warnings: Medical squick, swearing, lying to the police, covering up of crimes

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 14:**

Sebastian had sat with Nick while he waited for the ambulance and the police. He watched his boyfriend sadly, hoping nothing was wrong with him more than the horrible wound in the back of his head. He was keeping tabs on his pulse and breathing but Sebastian couldn't get the bleeding to stop. When the paramedics arrived, Sebastian let them take over and went to the bathroom to wash the blood from his hands, simultaneously washing the blood from the skipping rope Nick had been tied up with.

When he came back into the living room, two police officers stood in the doorway, watching sadly as Nick was carried from the room. The taller officer looked to Sebastian.

"You called 911?"

"Yeah. I'm Sebastian, I live here with Nick and our other roommate, Blaine. I came home from work and found Jesse – the blonde one – overdosing on the floor. Nick was in the chair, I didn't get to ask him any questions before he fell unconscious. I grabbed a towel from the bathroom and tried to keep the pressure on his head but it didn't stop – will I be able to go to the hospital and see him?"

"Of course. We just need to ask a few questions first."

"Sure, of course," Sebastian glanced between the officers as he dug his hands into his pockets.

"Why was Jesse here?" the taller officer asked.

"I honestly don't know. I used to live on the streets, met him there. He didn't like the fact that I was getting my life back together. He came by here about six weeks ago, attacked me and drugged me. I hadn't heard from him since then – never would have thought he'd go after Nick."

"Is there any reason he _would_ go after Nick?"

"Jesse was hell-bent on getting me back on the streets. He used to abuse me a lot; I guess he was missing the feeling of power. Nick was my boyfriend, that might have been another reason."

"Alright, and Jesse was a drug addict, yes?"

"Yeah, he got me hooked too but when I moved in here, Nick and Blaine started helping me with everything."

"How long have you been clean for?" the shorter officer asked, overtly concerned.

"Uh, six weeks. But that was when Jesse attacked and drugged me."

"How long had it been before that?"

"Three or four weeks? I'm not absolutely sure, I'd been doing cocaine, my head was a bit out of it for a while. Blaine would have a better idea."

"Will he be home soon?"

"I'm not sure. He had a rehearsal – he's a student at NYADA."

"Alright. Well, we'll need to talk to Nick as well. Would you like us to take you to the hospital?" the taller officer asked.

"Sure, that'd be great," Sebastian answered. He glanced around the room to see the crime scene investigators taking photos of everything. "I'd better let Blaine know about this too."

"We can give you some contacts for somewhere to stay."

"We might be able to crash with Blaine's boyfriend. Blaine and I will see what we can do first. Thanks though."

The officers nodded. "Well, let's head down to the hospital."

Sebastian nodded, pocketing Nick's phone and following the officers downstairs. He climbed into the back of police cruiser – which made him feel incredibly incriminated – and tapped out a message to Blaine.

**To Blaine: Jesse's dead. Nick's in the hospital. Meet me there. We can't go home. Seb**

He fell silent, waiting as he watched the world go by as they drove through the city. He hoped Nick was okay. He hoped Blaine wasn't going to do anything absurd. Nick's phone lit up in his hand and he looked down to see a message from Blaine.

_**From Blaine: Shit. Are you ok? Do you need anything?**_

**To Blaine: I'm fine. Dinner would be good. We'll need somewhere to stay.**

_**From Blaine: Ok. Stay safe. Be there soon.**_

Sebastian sighed softly before he looked up as the cruiser pulled up outside the hospital.

"Thomas will go in with you, I'll need to find a park," the taller officer said.

"Okay," Sebastian answered before he got out of the car. Thomas stood beside him as he peered up at the hospital doors before taking a deep breath and heading inside. He walked straight up to the information desk where a receptionist gasped softly at the sight of Sebastian and Officer Thomas.

"Looking for Nicholas Duval, he was brought in with a serious head injury," Sebastian said.

"Yes, we were given an alert for that case. He's still being treated in the emergency room if you want to go down there and wait," the receptionist answered.

"Alright, thank you," Sebastian said with a smile before he and Officer Thomas headed down to the emergency room.

It was a flurry of activity but Sebastian just sat down in the back corner, Officer Thomas standing beside him while they waited. After ten minutes, Blaine ran through the doors from outside, visibly relaxing when he saw Sebastian. He jogged over to him, collapsing into the chair beside Sebastian and pulled him into a hug.

"Thank god you're okay," Blaine exclaimed. "What happened?"

"Got home and Jesse was dead on the floor. Nick had hit his head badly, looked like he'd been roughed up a bit," Sebastian answered. "They're treating him now. Haven't gone to ask about him yet."

"Would you like me to?" Officer Thomas asked.

"Sure," Sebastian replied almost dismissively. Officer Thomas nodded tersely and wandered over to the triage desk while Sebastian looked to Blaine and explained the truth quickly. "Listen carefully because this is important: I killed Jesse with the heroin he was trying to kill Nick with. Nick doesn't know what happened, we're not gonna tell him until the police are out of the equation."

"Isn't that worse than killing someone?" Blaine murmured, astounded by Sebastian's nonchalance about the subject.

"If they knew the truth, I'd never see the light of day again. I did a lot of bad things when I was on the streets Blaine, if any of them came to light I'd be screwed."

"So Jesse died accidentally after almost killing Nick?"

"Bingo," Sebastian said before lapsing back into his quiet stupor of the grieving boyfriend. But his eyes never quite lost the sharpness Blaine hadn't realised was there before.

Officer Thomas returned with a grim expression. "He's not gonna die but it isn't looking good."

"Why not?" Blaine asked, reaching towards Sebastian.

"He's got a depressed skull fracture and a sub- sub-"

"Subdural hematoma?" Sebastian provided.

"Yeah, that's the one. Suspected but most likely a concussion as well."

"Is he conscious?" Blaine asked.

"Not yet but they're hoping that's due to the blood loss and not the head injury."

"Did they say if there's any brain damage?"

"They didn't say anything," Officer Thomas said with a shake of his head.

Blaine turned to Sebastian, grabbing his hand and squeezing. "You okay, Seb?"

"I'll be fine once I've seen him," Sebastian murmured before looking away.

Blaine bit his lip before he got to his feet. "I'll go get us something to eat, okay?"

Sebastian only nodded.

They were going to be in for a long night.

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**A/N: Yeah, this isn't the last chapter – there will be more! Rejoice :D This might actually be a lot longer than I have ever planned it to be, mostly due to what I've done to Nick. Yes I know, I'm sorry I broke him again. But I feel there's still some unfinished business for the boys to deal with and besides, we all know how I love angst and featuring Christmas in fics :p I'll try to keep you up to date on what's going on with the planning but for now be reassured that it's not over yet. Thanks for reading :) –Em xoxo**


	15. Chapter 15

Warnings: Medical squick, brain injury, memory loss, depression, overall feeling of angst

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

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**CHAPTER 15:**

Nick felt vague. Everything was bright and his head still hurt. He knew there were people around him, talking to him, touching him, but he couldn't focus enough to respond. He drifted in and out of consciousness, wishing for something but not being sure what it was.

When he finally gained some clarity, a blonde nurse was standing by his bed with a clipboard. She saw he was awake and smiled softly.

"Hey Nick, can you hear me?" she asked.

"Yeah…" he rasped, his throat dry. How long had he been asleep?

"My name's Jemma. You're in the hospital; you were brought in with a nasty knock to your head. You've been asleep for a couple of days. Do you remember what happened?"

Nick blinked several times, pursing his lips as he tried to remember. He could recall someone yelling, feeling the blood run down the back of his neck… Why couldn't he remember?

"It's alright if you don't remember, lots of people who hit their head as bad as you did don't remember what happened. We think you fell and hit your head on the kitchen counter at home. You lost a lot of blood but your boyfriend came home and found you."

"Boyfriend?" Nick questioned, frowning in confusion.

Jemma's face fell and Nick's confusion heightened.

"What?"

"I'll be right back, okay? Just sit tight."

Nick frowned again before he tried to get a better look at his surroundings. He was in a room by himself, IVs stuck in the backs of his hands and the crease of his elbow. There was something hanging in his eyes that he thought was a bandage. Everything felt weird and he wished Blaine was there. There was someone else he knew he should be thinking of but he couldn't figure it out.

He heard voices before someone sat down on the edge of the bed, taking his hand carefully. His gaze travelled up the arm and over the neck to the worried green eyes peering back at him.

_Sebastian_.

"Hey Nick, how are you feeling?" Sebastian asked quietly.

"Vague…"

"That's fair enough." Sebastian seemed hesitant and Nick wanted to try and fix it but he didn't know what to do. "Nick… Do you remember who I am?"

"Yeah… You're Sebastian. You're my … my friend?" Nick felt like he had failed a test.

Sebastian smiled but there was something contradictory in his eyes. "Y-Yeah, yeah you are."

"Did I say something wrong?"

"No," Sebastian shook his head as he answered. "No it's fine. We're friends, you're right."

Nick heard another voice then. "Seb…"

Sebastian turned away. "Blaine, I'm not gonna ruin this."

Nick slowly turned to find Blaine was standing on his other side. The dark haired boy looked down at him sadly.

"What is it?" Nick asked. "Is something wrong?"

Blaine leaned down against the railing on the bed, looking Nick in the eyes. "Nick, Sebastian's your boyfriend. Do you remember that?"

Nick slowly shook his head, ignoring the pain it caused him before he looked to Sebastian. "Is that true?"

"It doesn't matter, Nick. All that matters is you getting better," Sebastian answered. "I'll be fine."

Nick went to reply but Jemma came back then.

"I'm sorry boys; the doctors need to do some assessments now. I can let you back in as soon as they're done."

"Okay," Sebastian murmured before he squeezed Nick's hand one more time and stood. "We'll come back and talk later."

Nick didn't want them to go but he knew there was no point in protesting. He settled back into the pillow and watched as two doctors filed into the room, taking a seat either side of him. They introduced themselves but he couldn't remember their names and they explained what had happened to him. There were too many big words he didn't understand and he found himself wishing Sebastian was there but he couldn't figure out why.

The doctors made him do a plethora of small tasks that all meant nothing to him. He felt as if he failed them all even though he knew some of them were fine. It was the ones that stumped and stalled him that made him worry. He knew he was getting it wrong, he just didn't know why.

When they had finished, the doctors sat back in their chairs and looked him straight in the eye.

"Nick, when you fell, you hit your head pretty hard. Because of where you hit it – just behind your ear on the left side – we had suspected that you'd have some trouble with memory-"

"Trouble? What do you mean trouble?" Nick interjected.

One of the doctors leaned forward. "The tests we've just done show that you've lost some cognitive function. We think your short-term memory and ability to identify things might have been compromised. There's also evidence to support a mild case of retrograde amnesia – which means you can't remember some things that have already happened, but can form new memories."

Nick swallowed nervously. "Anything else?"

"There may be some loss of co-ordination as well. We'll have a better idea about that tomorrow but we think it might be best for you to go to a rehabilitation facility for a few weeks."

"Why?"

The other doctor answered. "You have a moderate closed head injury, Nick. A lot of people who go through the same thing struggle to get back into their normal routine – to function in everyday life. The doctors at the rehabilitation centre will be able to help you learn ways to cope with things. Your brain won't always work the way it used to anymore-"

"So this is permanent? Forever? I'm gonna have to stay like this?" Nick could feel tears pricking at the backs of his eyes.

"Try not to think of it like that," the first doctor said as he got to his feet. "We all go through things that we have to adjust to. You'll have lots of support from doctors and nurses and your friends. You'll be back up to speed in no time."

"Do I have to go?" Nick asked, feeling small.

"It is within your best interest."

Nick looked away and clenched his hands – one after the other – around the blankets. "I wanna be alone."

He saw the doctors nod from the corners of his eyes before they disappeared. He heard them talk to someone outside before the door opened again, Sebastian and Blaine returning. Sebastian carefully touched his arm, waiting for him to relax before taking his hand again.

"It's gonna be alright, Nick. We'll get through this together," Blaine said.

"I'll come and see you every day – just like you did when I was in the hospital," Sebastian added.

"I'm scared," Nick whispered.

"You're allowed to be," Sebastian murmured before they fell into silence.

How did it end up like this?

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**A/N: *hums Mr Brightside for a while* I'm sorry. But the logical and medical-loving part of me just couldn't leave Nick and Seb reconciling in a hospital without addressing the consequences. Nothing else terrible happens though, I promise. And I fully intend to keep that promise. Thank you very much for reading, I hope you're still enjoying it and that I'm not boring you with my constant change of heart about when to finish the story. Let me know what you're thinking :) Have a wonderful day –Em xoxo**

**EDIT: I'm so sorry it took me so long to upload this – the internet decided it didn't want to work when I came to uploading it. I'm probably gonna be a bit slow on the next chapter too but I'll try to get it up before I go out tonight. Thanks for being patient :)**


	16. Chapter 16

Warnings: Recovering from a brain injury, swearing, depression

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 16:**

The next few weeks were difficult. Sebastian had wanted desperately for Nick to come home – well, to Kurt and Rachel's apartment while they waited for their crime scene of a home to be cleared. But while the police had ruled Jesse's death as an accidental overdose, the team who cleaned up apartments involved in murders and deaths were taking forever to do their job. And of course Sebastian had realised long before anyone else that the rehabilitation centre was in fact the best place for Nick.

Still he went every day, watched as Nick battled through the exercises and the therapy that aimed to recover his lost ability. He was improving, Sebastian could see it more with each new day but he could tell that Nick didn't totally agree. His co-ordination was a non-issue, Nick could **see** the improvement but his memory was so messed up that he couldn't remember if what he did was better or worse than the day before. This had prompted one of the occupational therapists to make him up a star chart which Sebastian could see only made Nick feel more stupid. For the love of god, they were supposed to be improving his self-esteem, not destroying it completely.

Blaine came by once every couple of days, often with work from Nick's lecturers and tutors for him to work through with his doctors. Kurt only came by in the first week, bringing Nick a batch of peanut butter cookies that he couldn't eat because of his nut allergy. It had been an awkward experience but Sebastian had brushed it off with a bad joke before averting Nick's attention somewhere else. He found it easy to take care of Nick when he was with him. It was when he got home and the gravity of the situation weighed down on him that he'd freak out.

Worst of all, Nick still couldn't remember why he and Sebastian had fallen in love. They had gone through everything leading up to the attack and Nick remembered it all except for the last few hours and _why_ _he was in love with Sebastian_. It was scary that he could remember _being_ in love, but not _why_ and it made Sebastian even angrier at Jesse. He knew the bastard had said something he just couldn't figure out what.

It was all forgotten though when one morning Sebastian was sitting with Nick helping him with one of the exercises he was doing for his memory. Between them sat a small puzzle with differently coloured pieces of plastic that slotted together to form a square. They had been working with it all week – Sebastian had memorised it within the first hour but Nick was struggling. Sebastian had shown him how to do it; they had waited five minutes while Sebastian asked Nick about his day, before Nick set to work trying to fit the pieces together.

Sebastian watched sadly as he got it wrong three times. He could see the tension in Nick's shoulders, feel it radiating off of him before he slotted the last piece into the puzzle.

It was still wrong.

Nick growled before throwing himself back against the bed in frustration. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Why the fuck can't I do it?!"

"Because you're eyes are closed," Sebastian said lightly as he pulled the puzzle towards him. "Come on, try telling me where each piece goes."

"No."

"Nick, don't be an asshole."

"I have a brain injury; I'm allowed to be an asshole."

"It seems to me that the brain injury is _making _you an asshole," Sebastian sighed before he sighed. "Talk to me, what's wrong? Other than the puzzle."

"Nothing's wrong, the puzzle just doesn't want to be a square," Nick answered as he let his arms fall to his sides but he kept his gaze on the ceiling. "I don't wanna do this anymore, Seb."

"I know. I also know that you know the only way you're getting out is if you figure this puzzle out."

Nick looked to Sebastian and shook his head. "That's not true," he said with a soft smile.

"Ah, ya never know, these crazy doctors," Sebastian laughed softly. "Come on, we'll do it together."

Nick sighed as he slowly sat up and they worked through the puzzle, Nick telling Sebastian where to put each piece. When it was done, Nick held the puzzle in his hand and watched it sadly.

"There is something wrong, isn't there?" Sebastian asked as he shuffled closer. He couldn't deny that with each new day he had new hope that Nick would remember why he loved him. So far it had not come true.

"I wanna go home, Seb… I wanna see my dad. I wanna wake up on Christmas morning and just be normal."

"You are normal…"

"You know that's not true," Nick scoffed before shaking his head and looking out the window. "I wanna go home and be with my family. I'm sick of doctors and nurses and therapists who treat me like I'm broken. I wanna do something for myself."

Sebastian nodded understandingly. "I can talk to them… I can say your dad wants to see you but can't get the time off work to come out here. We can get a weekend pass or something."

"Would you really do that?" Nick asked with wide eyes.

"Of course I would," Sebastian got to his feet. "I can go talk to them right now."

Nick smiled. "Thanks Sebastian."

Sebastian smiled. "No problem."

"Did I ever tell you about your smile?" Nick asked.

Sebastian frowned then. "No… What about it?"

"Well, it's nice. It suits you… But it doesn't reach your eyes."

Sebastian felt a sinking feeling in his chest. He nodded before he muttered that he'd be back tomorrow before leaving.

Why did Nick have to be so … Nick?

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**A/N: Ah, it feels good not to have to battle with the interwebs to post a chapter :p I hope you liked this. I might have another up before I go out tonight but I'm not sure. I still have cupcakes to ice and clean clothes to find (caramel is messy). Thanks for reading though and I hope you're having a wonderful day –Em xoxo**


	17. Chapter 17

Warnings: Depression, breakdown, sads, swearing

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 17:**

Sebastian didn't know what to talk about as he sat in front of his own therapist that afternoon. Lara was watching him worriedly as he chewed his lip and tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair. He wanted to talk – he knew that he _needed_ to – but there were so many things running through his head that he couldn't pin one down to start with.

"How's Nick?" Lara asked, finally breaking the silence.

"He's alright… He wants to come home for Christmas."

"That's exciting. Is he going to be able to?"

"I don't know yet. I talked with his doctor this morning but it depends on how much he improves."

"So he's still having trouble with his memory?"

Sebastian shrugged. "Just new memories. They said he'd have more difficulty learning new things. Learning processes and stuff like that. He's struggling with it but he is getting better. I think it's because he just can't always see that he's getting better."

"I'm sure he'll manage it. How are you coping? Are you still going in every morning?" Lara asked as she leaned her head on her hand.

"Yeah, each morning at ten, after the rounds and stuff. I've been helping him with some of the things he's gotta do. The occupational therapist talked me through everything."

"But how are you coping?"

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't know… When I'm with him it's fine, I know how to talk to him and when to leave him to himself but as soon as I walk out of the room… It's like if I'm not with him, I'm afraid he'll cease to exist. I want to be around him. I want to be there when he achieves things. Most of all I just want him home…"

"What will you do if he can't be home at Christmas? He's only got two weeks…"

"Yeah well… If he doesn't manage it, I guess I'll just go spend the day with him."

"You don't want to see your mother for Christmas?"

Sebastian shrugged one shoulder. "It'd be nice to see her but it's either Nick or her and I'm not about to leave him alone. Besides, I'm not ready to see the rest of her family just yet. I'm sure half of them will think I'm some demon child who tore a family apart because I like boys."

"Does that bother you?"

"Not really. I mean, I dealt with all kinds of crap living on the streets – what's a few snide comments from people who share a bit of blood but are still total strangers?"

They fell into silence again before Lara asked another question: "Are you and Blaine back in the apartment yet?"

"Not yet. Hopefully we will be soon though. I miss my bed," Sebastian tried to laugh off the nerves that had slowly brewed within him. His comment however had only forced him to think more about Nick wanting to come home. He could still see the pleading look in his friend's eyes.

"What are you going to do when Nick comes back to the apartment? It isn't really fair to him to share a room, is it?"

"No it isn't… I hadn't thought of that. I dunno. I guess it's something Blaine and I will have to talk about."

"Why not ask Nick about it?" Lara asked, leaning forward.

"Talking to Nick about … _before_ is weird. It's like he can't understand why he would do the things he did when we were together – and he can't. He doesn't understand why he loved me."

"I imagine that's hard to think about. Have you ever talked about the relationship? About what you two did for one another?"

"He remembers that he basically saved me from the streets, about Jesse almost killing me. He knows that he helped me find my mom when we went back to Ohio for Thanksgiving. He remembers the night we met," Sebastian shook his head. "It's just like… It's like there's this blockage in his brain, stopping him from seeing why we were together. And I can't help him figure it out because I don't know. I don't know why he loved me. I just know that he did and that I was thankful for it."

"Do you love him?" Lara asked quietly, seriously.

Sebastian stalled and felt tears well in his eyes. "I do. I do, I love him. I love him _so_ _fucking much_ but I can't **tell **him."

"Why not?"

"Because he doesn't freaking know why he loved me! He doesn't remember falling in love with me and I can't tell him that I love him back because if I do, it'll scare the hell out of him!" Sebastian yelled. He was gasping for breath and he dropped his head into his hands as he shook. "I want him to know… I want to hold him and take care of him and love him but I can't… Because if I do, I'll lose him forever…"

"Sebastian…"

"No, please don't, just… I just need to hang on until he remembers. He's gonna remember. I know he will."

Sebastian heard Lara shuffle across the carpet before he heard the door open and shut. The silence was deafening and Sebastian knew he shouldn't be alone. He could feel the urges pushing him to move, to find salvation in what he didn't need. He curled his fingers in his hair, feeling the scar on his head and only thinking of Nick's.

The door opened again and he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Sebastian, I've called Blaine to come and take you home, okay? He'll be here soon."

Sebastian nodded but he didn't look up at Lara. He just wanted his Nick back. That was all he wanted.

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**A/N: I'm sad after writing this. I'm sorry if it makes you sad too. We'll be sad together- fuck I'm actually crying… Okay, I'll work on fixing this soon. Thank you all for reading, it's very much appreciated. I don't say that enough. Thank you –Em xoxo**


	18. Chapter 18

Warnings: None :)

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

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**CHAPTER 18:**

Sebastian had let Blaine take him back to Kurt's apartment where they curled up on the couch and Sebastian cried himself to sleep. It had been a long night and when Blaine was woken by his ringtone the next morning, he didn't want to talk to anyone. However, upon seeing it was Nick's doctor calling, he jumped out of bed and answered the call.

"Doctor Collins? Is everything alright?" Blaine asked as he wandered out into the kitchen. He spared a glance to where Sebastian was asleep on the couch.

"Yes, Nick's fine. I was calling to see if you and Sebastian could make it in this morning. I need to speak with the two of you."

"Uh sure, yeah, we can make it in. Just to your office?"

"Yes, that would be great."

"Alright. As soon as possible?"

"Yes, if it's no trouble."

"I'll wake Sebastian and we'll be on our way."

"Alright then. I'll see you soon. Take care."

"You too," Blaine said before he hung up. He moved over to the couch, gently shaking Sebastian's shoulder.

"Hmm, wha?" Sebastian mumbled as he opened his eyes. "What is it?"

"Doctor Collins just called; he needs to speak to us."

"Is Nick okay?" Sebastian asked blearily as he sat up.

"He's fine, but we need to get over there as soon as possible."

Sebastian nodded before he stood and shuffled into the bathroom. Blaine went back to his room, gently waking Kurt as well.

"What's going on?" Kurt asked with a yawn.

"Sebastian and I are just heading up to the rehab centre. Nick's doctor wants to talk to us. I'll be back later."

"Okay. Love you," Kurt murmured. Blaine leaned down to kiss him gently before he quickly got dressed and headed back out to find Sebastian standing by the door. He was wearing the same clothes he'd worn yesterday and he still had his bed hair.

"Not feeling any better?" Blaine asked quietly as they headed out into the corridor.

"My boyfriend doesn't love me, I killed someone and I'm sleeping on a couch. I felt better living on the streets," Sebastian grumbled.

Blaine smiled sympathetically. "He'll remember. Don't let go of that."

Sebastian didn't respond to that and the rest of the journey to the rehabilitation centre was spent in silence. As they stood in the elevator, Sebastian looked to Blaine.

"What if he's about to tell us that there's nothing else they can do for Nick?"

"Then we'll deal with it together. Our friendship isn't going to fall apart because of whatever happens in that room."

Sebastian didn't seem convinced but he kept quiet as they wandered down the hallway. Blaine didn't like hospital corridors – he always felt that hiding behind each door was some suffering soul. He couldn't help but think about how fragile life was; how one small event could land him in a hospital and maybe never let him be free again. That train of thought now led him to Nick and he swallowed harshly as they approached Doctor Collins' reception area.

"Sebastian Smythe and Blaine Anderson to see Doctor Collins?" Sebastian asked the receptionist.

"Doctor Collins will be out in a moment, he's just got a call," the receptionist answered with a smile. "Feel free to take a seat."

The boys nodded and Blaine took a seat while Sebastian stood, arms folded across his chest. Blaine knew Sebastian was nervous – he didn't hide it as well as he thought he did – but he was nervous as well. He didn't know how to console Sebastian – that was Nick's job.

A door opened and Blaine looked up to see Doctor Collins smile lightly.

"Blaine, Sebastian," he said, watching as the boys came into his office before he closed the door and took a seat at his desk. "Thanks for making it in at such short notice. The decision was only made this morning."

"What decision?" Sebastian asked. He still looked tired but Blaine could see the sharpness in his eyes was back.

"Yesterday you asked me if Nick would be able to come home for Christmas," Doctor Collins said with a smile. "And I have decided that it would be within Nick's best interest to go home at the end of this week."

Sebastian's jaw dropped and Blaine felt the news hit him like a slap across the face.

"A-Are you sure?" Sebastian asked. "I mean, I want him to come home but … his memory's still busted."

"We wouldn't be leaving him out to dry; he'd still have outpatient appointments to attend with his therapists. I would also meet with him once a month but there are other aspects of his injury that we need to work on."

"Such as?" Blaine asked.

"Nick needs to start getting his independence back; he needs to get back into his normal routine. I spoke with him yesterday afternoon and between what he told me and what some of the nurses have told me, he seems to be feeling depressed. This isn't uncommon with patients with brain injuries – they get frustrated with themselves, people treat them differently. But I would like to try and nip this in the bud before it develops into something more serious and harder to treat."

"Okay so what? We just take him on Friday?" Sebastian asked.

"Yes. I understand though that your apartment was under the jurisdiction of the police? Is that still the case?" Doctor Collins asked as he glanced between the boys.

"We haven't heard from them yet, no," Blaine answered. "Sebastian and I have been staying with my boyfriend in Bushwick but the apartment wouldn't be big enough for Nick as well. We haven't quite figured out how to solve that problem yet. We'd thought we would have a little more time to think about it."

"That could pose some-"

Doctor Collins was interrupted by Blaine's phone blaring to life. Blaine pulled out his phone and saw that it was Officer Thomas calling.

"Speak of the devil, it's the officer in charge of the case, excuse me," Blaine murmured before he got up and answered his phone, stepping outside.

"Mr Anderson?"

"Hi Officer Thomas – good news?"

"Very good news. Your apartment has officially been cleared. You can go back this afternoon."

"Awesome. Is there anything else?"

"Nope, you're all clear. But if you ever have any problems, let us know."

"Thank you, thank you so much." Blaine hung up and grinned to himself before heading back into Doctor Collins' office. He went to share the good news but seeing the downcast expression on Sebastian's face, he stopped. "Is everything okay?"

"It's fine," Sebastian murmured. "What did Thomas have to say?"

"We can go back to the apartment. We'll just need to sort out where you're gonna sleep," Blaine answered as he sat down again.

"I'll just crash on the couch," Sebastian said before looking back to Doctor Collins. "Anything else about Nick?"

"Uh, just to keep an eye on the depression. If it gets worse, it's probably best to bring him in. But just help him to do things for himself."

"What about school? I mean, his classes are over but is he right to just go back after the winter break?" Blaine asked.

"I would suggest talking to the school. They'll have some sort of support system in place for students with medical conditions – you should be able to find their contact details on the school's website," Doctor Collins answered. "Any other questions?"

"Would we be able to take Nick home for Christmas?" Sebastian ventured. "It's all he wants…"

"I don't see why not. So long as he kept up his exercises and kept taking his medication."

Sebastian smiled and nodded. "Great… Can we go and see him now?"

"Sure. Go give him the good news," Doctor Collins said with a smile of his own. "And Sebastian, remember what I said."

"I will," Sebastian said before he and Blaine left.

"What was that about?" Blaine asked as they got in the elevator.

"Nothing," Sebastian said as he hit the button.

Blaine watched him warily as they were carried upstairs. Walking onto the ward, Sebastian greeted all of the nurses by name before they came to Nick's room. Nick was sitting on his bed with the puzzle he'd been working on the day before. Sebastian and Blaine watched silently as he slotted the last piece into place.

"Did you do that all by yourself?" Sebastian asked quietly.

Nick jumped slightly before he looked up and smiled. "Yeah. It seemed easy today."

"I'm glad," Sebastian said with a smile. "So you're feeling better today?"

"Yeah," Nick replied with a decisive nod. "Why?"

"Well, Blaine and I just went to speak with Doctor Collins and he gave us some good news," Sebastian teased.

"What?" Nick asked, excitement lighting up his eyes. Blaine hadn't seen him like this before – he wondered if it was just Sebastian or the promise of good news.

"You get to come home on Friday," Sebastian said simply.

"Really?!" Nick exclaimed.

"Yep," Sebastian answered before he laughed as Nick pulled him into an embrace. "And then we can go back to Ohio for Christmas."

Nick pulled away, shaking his head. "I can't believe you actually made it happen! I could just-" the sentence dropped off and Nick leaned forward, kissing Sebastian.

Blaine watched, shocked, as Nick jumped back again and muttered a string of apologies. He could see something in Sebastian's eyes – something akin to hope.

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**A/N: And with the addition of this chapter, **_**Breaking at the Seams**_** is officially the longest fic I've written for Glee :) Things are finally coming together for our boys! Rachel, Santana and Adam will feature in the next chapter – don't worry Klainers, Adam's just coming as a friend, though I do love him as an individual character, he's so adorable :p.**

**Also, I'm working on the playlist for this fic at the moment. If you have any songs you would like me to add to it before it goes up on tumblr (I won't do this until the fic's finished), let me know :) Thanks again for reading, I hope you're having a fantastic day –Em xoxo**


	19. Chapter 19

Warnings: None :)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

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**CHAPTER 19:**

The next two days were spent trying to get the apartment ready for Nick. They had no idea whether coming home was going to trigger the memories and if the boys were honest with themselves, they were scared. But they had gone out and bought a new bed to put in Nick's room, a room he would share with whomever he felt more comfortable with. Sebastian was afraid Nick wouldn't choose him but he tried to remember the kiss and what that meant. If it meant anything at all.

Blaine had also organised for Kurt, Santana and Adam to come over for a small get together to welcome Nick home. They weren't going to push for too much but one of the nurses had said that reminding Nick of his friends would help his depression.

And then there was the treatment. Nick was on new medications – Sebastian hadn't missed the anti-depressants tacked on to the end of the list – and had been given a set of written instructions for all of his exercises. The nurses had also made up booklets for Blaine and Sebastian about how to best help Nick, including things to talk to the university about. They had decided however that they wouldn't worry about that until after Christmas.

When Friday finally came, Sebastian felt like a kid waking up on their birthday. He had leapt out of bed and made breakfast for him and Blaine while the other boy tried to wake himself up with coffee. After Blaine had gotten dressed and they'd made sure everything was in order for when Nick came home, they headed off to the rehabilitation centre.

When they arrived, Nick's room was filled with people: Doctor Collins, the nurses, his therapists. And when they saw Sebastian and Blaine, they cheered. Nick was sitting cross-legged on the bed and he blushed slightly when he saw Sebastian but the mood was light.

"Well, the discharge papers are signed. He's got all his meds and his information – I reckon we're ready to go," Doctor Collins said as he clapped Nick on the shoulder.

"Thanks for everything, Doctor Collins," Sebastian said as Blaine grabbed Nick's bag.

"It's been a pleasure. Take care of yourselves boys. Have a good Christmas and I will see you, Nick, after the New Year."

And as soon as Nick had his coat on, they were out of there. As they waited for the elevator, Sebastian pulled something out of his pocket and handed it to Nick.

"You're gonna want that on before you get outside," Sebastian said simply.

Nick frowned, unfolding what Sebastian had given him before he laughed softly. "A beanie?"

"My head pounds in the cold, especially when it's windy like today. Gotta keep that head warm."

Nick laughed again as he pulled it on, making sure it covered the jagged scar on the back of his head. Sebastian felt his heart lurch at the red line. It shouldn't be there.

The taxi ride home was quiet and when Nick started fidgeting; Sebastian gently took one of his hands, not meeting his questioning gaze. He could feel Blaine's reproachful glare boring into the back of his head though.

When they reached the apartment, Blaine opened the door before stepping aside to let Nick in first. Nick moved slowly, warily, as he looked around.

"Is it okay?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah… It's just weird. I know I almost died in here – but I can't remember," Nick murmured. He was standing by the kitchen counter, his fingers trailing over the edge that had been covered in his blood. "It's just weird."

"Well, how about we get you settled in and then I'll go get us some lunch?" Blaine suggested.

"Sure," Nick answered before he looked to his bedroom, the door open. "Two beds?"

"Yeah. We figured one of us would share the room with you so that Seb didn't have to sleep on the couch," Blaine explained as he carried Nick's bag into the room.

"Fair enough," Nick said as he moved to sit on his bed. It had been pushed up against the wall to make room for the other. "Seb, you might as well stay in here with me. Doesn't make sense for Blaine to move."

"Okay," Sebastian said quietly, trying not to let the hope shine through in his voice.

"What do we want for lunch?" Blaine asked as he leaned against the doorframe.

"How about spaghetti and meatballs?" Nick suggested.

"Sure. You wanna help me make it?"

"Uh, okay."

Sebastian smiled as he watched Blaine and Nick head back out into the kitchen. Maybe things could be normal again. Maybe things could go back to the way they were.

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That evening, the three boys were joined by Kurt, Adam, Rachel, and Santana. Nick had been surprisingly eager to catch up with their friends but when they arrived, Sebastian kept a close eye on Nick.

Adam was fine, he sat with Nick and they talked about how Nick was coping. Kurt and Santana were in the kitchen with Blaine while Rachel sat in the armchair fiddling with her phone.

"You expecting a call?" Sebastian asked.

"Yeah, I had an audition yesterday and they haven't let me know yet," Rachel explained. "I know it's insane to expect them to have made a decision so quickly but waiting was never my strong point."

"You'll be fine," Adam interjected. "I heard you practicing beforehand, you were incredible."

"Of course I was but that doesn't matter. What matters is whether they liked me-"

"Oh my _god_, Santana! You can't just say stuff like that!"

Sebastian, Adam and Rachel jerked their heads towards the kitchen just in time to see Kurt hurrying out with his hands over his ears. Santana was trailing behind him.

"Kurt, all I'm saying is that I just don't wanna get caught between you and Blaine _gaying_ it up."

Kurt rounded on her. "Santana, _you're_ gay."

Santana folded her arms across her chest and shrugged one shoulder. "I'm a lesbian, it's totally different."

"Hey guys, where did Nick go?" Adam asked suddenly.

Sebastian frowned, glancing around the apartment before he saw the bedroom door was closed. He got to his feet, brushing past Santana and heading inside the room. Nick was sitting on the bed, his eyes closed.

"Nick? You okay?" Sebastian asked as he closed the door behind him.

Nick slowly opened his eyes and they took a second to focus before Nick sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just the noise…"

Sebastian nodded as he sat down beside Nick. "I'm sure they didn't mean it."

"I know they didn't. It was an accident, they didn't know."

"Didn't know what?"

"Noise is just … _hard_. It makes my ears ring, confuses me."

Sebastian wasn't sure how to respond to that. He wanted to hold Nick's hand but he felt he'd done that enough already that day. It was so hard to decide between what would scare Nick off or bring him closer. Sebastian wished he didn't have to choose.

"Did Jesse really kill himself?" Nick asked suddenly.

Sebastian gaped for a minute, trying to find the words before he slowly shook his head. "N-No. No he didn't…"

"What actually happened then?"

"Um… I came home and he was leaning over you – you'd screamed. I ran in and kinda tackled him away. He had a syringe full of heroin. I stabbed him in the neck with it."

Nick shook his head. "How do you deal with that?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I don't really think about it. I don't feel anything about it. I was just worried about you, I guess."

Nick turned away, shaking his head. "It amazes me that you would do something like that… I just don't understand it. I don't know what I was thinking and it's just this huge mystery that I need to figure out. But there isn't even any guarantee that I'm _able_ to figure it out."

"I'm sure you'll manage it," Sebastian murmured as he watched Nick. He was still so intrigued by the boy sitting next to him. There was something about Nick Duval that Sebastian couldn't name.

There was another pause before Nick asked a question more confronting than the last.

"Can I kiss you?"

Sebastian looked to Nick with confusion in his eyes. "I thought – I thought-"

"I know it sounds insane," Nick said quietly as he turned to Sebastian. "But can I?"

Sebastian nodded before he could think about it. He watched, feeling his heartbeat quicken, as Nick shuffled closer. His hand came up to rest on Sebastian's cheek and he leaned in until their lips pressed together. Sebastian wanted to cry – it felt safe and comforting and beautiful and lovely. He reached up for Nick's neck, curling his hand around as he kissed Nick back. Their lips moved together as easily as always and Sebastian knew he was holding _his Nick_.

The kiss broke, their lips sticking together briefly, and Nick looked to Sebastian sadly.

"It feels … weird."

"Bad weird?" Sebastian asked fearfully.

"No," Nick shook his head. "Just weird. Like everything's there except _one_ thing. One thing that would change how it feels."

Sebastian nodded understandingly before they headed back out to the others.

But Sebastian knew the one thing Nick needed. He just didn't know how to bring it back.

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**A/N: I gave myself feels :( And I'm sorry I've slowed down so much with updates but parts of the next and last two chapters are written so I should have this finished tomorrow some time. Thank you for all your wonderful reviews so far and thank you for reading –Em xoxo**


	20. Chapter 20

Warnings: Mention of past abuse, swearing, attempted non-con

Disclaimer: Hannah is mine, Seb and Nick are not.

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**CHAPTER 20:**

Three days later found Nick, Sebastian, Blaine and Kurt driving to Ohio. The nine hour drive was more gruelling than the last time they had made the journey. They had the radio on the entire time but it was quiet - Nick's dislike for noise was proving more difficult than they had imagined. But they managed.

As they had last time, Blaine dropped Sebastian and Nick off first though this time it was to Sebastian's mother's house. Hannah met them out the front, greeting Nick and Sebastian each with a warm embrace.

"How are you two feeling? Was the drive okay?" She asked as she helped them carry their bags inside after waving goodbye to Blaine and Kurt.

"It was alright," Sebastian answered. "It's painful that it's such a long drive though."

"Oh well, you can rest now." As they headed into the kitchen, their bags left at the foot of the stairs, they caught the smell of Cooking. "I'm halfway through dinner. Roast beef sound good to you two?"

"Sounds lovely," Nick murmured as he and Sebastian sat down at the table. "Is there anything we can do?"

"Oh no, dear. You two just relax. Everything is under control."

Sebastian pointed to a pot on the stove whose lid was shuddering and shaking. "Pot's about to boil over, Mom."

Hannah swore as she span around to turn the heat down on the stove before Nick got to his feet.

"I'm gonna go lie down for a bit."

"Okay," Sebastian said with a smile. "I'll come wake you if you're not up before dinner's ready."

Nick simply nodded before he left. Hannah watched him leave before turning to her son.

"He's very different. It's almost like you've switched personalities."

"How so?"

"He was very protective of you when you were here at Thanksgiving. Now you're very protective of him," Hannah explained.

"What else am I supposed to do? I can't just leave him to his own devices."

"I'm not saying that you should. I'm proud of you for taking care of him. It was horrible when Blaine called to tell me what had happened. To come and find Nick and Jesse like that... I can't imagine it."

"I just keep thinking about how lucky I am that I didn't end up like Nick when Dad and Jimmy beat me so bad that time," Sebastian murmured. "It's hard enough to watch it, let alone go through it firsthand."

"What kind of things has it done to him? Blaine said it had affected his memory..."

"He doesn't remember what happened that night, which was kind of obvious. And they said initially that he'd be able to form new memories but he struggles. Going back to school after the break is gonna be difficult. The doctors have tried to help prepare him for that but it's gonna be a day-by-day thing."

Hannah leaned forward over the kitchen bench. "And how are you coping with it all?"

Sebastian shrugged. "I get up, I help him, I go to work, I wait for Blaine to come home or for Nick to go to sleep and I work on my GED stuff then go to bed."

"That can't be easy, Seb…"

"He would have made the same sacrifices if I'd been the one with my head cracked open."

"I don't doubt that but don't try to overdo it. When all is said and done, he's going to need you. _In one piece_."

Sebastian shook his head. "That's just the problem though – Blaine and I can't tell if we're overdoing it or not. Even though some days it's logistically maddening, we just deal with it. Helping Nick … it doesn't feel like work. It feels like … like if I don't help him, I'd be committing a crime against humanity. Helping him – it's the first honest thing I've done since I was twelve."

Hannah smiled softly but there was something bittersweet about the gesture. "I'm very proud of you, Sebastian."

Sebastian smiled sheepishly. "Thanks Mom."

Both of them failed to notice Nick shuffling back up the stairs.

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That night, after the others had gone to bed Nick slipped out of his bed in the guest room. He crept down the hallway, his hand trailing along the wall until he came to Sebastian's room. He pushed the door open and slipped inside, closing it again before turning to face the darkness. He hoped the bed was still in the same place before he slowly shuffled across the open floor. When his knees hit the mattress, Nick carefully crawled onto the bed and over Sebastian. His eyes had finally adjusted to the dark and he could see the shadow of Sebastian's sleeping face.

Leaning down, Nick kissed Sebastian gently, waiting for him to wake up. He stirred slightly but didn't move or open his eyes so Nick kissed him again. Sebastian stirred, cringing and pushing Nick away.

"Mmm, not now Nick." There was a pause before Sebastian's eyes opened wide and he shot up out of bed. "Nick?! What are you doing?!"

Nick pulled himself closer again, slinging his arms around Sebastian's shoulders. "I wanna fix this. I wanna be with you."

Nick leaned in for another kiss but Sebastian grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back. With one hand, Sebastian reached out for the lamp on his nightstand, switching it on. He peered up at Nick fearfully.

"Nick, what the hell are you doing?"

Nick sat back, still kneeling over Sebastian's legs. "I wanted to… I wanted to fix this – fix _us_. I wanted to show you that I still love you."

Sebastian smiled but it was sad. "Sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night isn't the way to fix us, Nick."

"I just thought… Because sex helped the first time…"

Sebastian nodded. "I know. I've thought about it to." He ran a hand through his hair before looking to Nick seriously. "Do you remember when we started going out? How I felt that I needed to sleep with you for what you were doing for me? To pay you back for what you were giving me?"

"Yeah…"

"This is just like that." Sebastian shrugged. "Well, kind of… But if this is meant to be, sleeping together isn't gonna speed up the process."

"You probably think I'm an idiot." Nick murmured as he climbed off of Sebastian, sitting on the bed beside him.

"Nah, you're just trying to make sense of everything. I understand."

"Do you still want me? I mean – I must be a pain in the ass with my fucked up memory and inability to function like a normal person." The overheard words of that evening echoed in Nick's mind.

Sebastian shook his head, reaching for Nick's hand. "Of course I still want you," he paused and slowly looked up into Nick's eyes, a smile spreading across his face. "I love you, Nick."

"There it is," Nick murmured.

Sebastian tried to laugh. "What do you mean?"

"The smile – it finally reached your eyes."

Sebastian smiled again before he pulled Nick into his arms. Maybe things were going to work out after all.

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**A/N: I've wanted to write that last scene for like, 10 chapters, back when this fic ended after Jesse almost killed Seb. Are you happy that I changed when it ended?**

**There's only one more chapter left but I have a family thing on so it may be another 12 or so hours before an update (Because that's such a long time to wait. ****Not looking in anyone's direction ACITW)****. But I'll get to work on that as soon as possible :) Thank you very much for reading and please, let me know what you think.**

**Also, if there's anything you want me to write about with Nickbastian or any of the Warblers, let me know and I'll see what I can pull out of my hat :p Thanks for the support lovelies –Em xoxo**


	21. Chapter 21

Warnings: Reference to past trauma/abuse

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.

A/N: This is the last chapter of "Breaking at the Seams". I hope you've enjoyed it and that you like this chapter. Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed, favourite, followed and read it. I've already started piecing together an idea for the next fic but it's gonna require some research. Thank you again and I hope you enjoy the finale…

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**CHAPTER 21:**

On Christmas morning, Sebastian and Nick wandered downstairs to find Hannah had cooked chocolate chip pancakes in the shape of Christmas trees. They sat around the table and ate before Sebastian gave his mother the scarf Blaine had bought for her. In turn, she gave each of the boys a knitted beanie. Nick's was red and navy blue while Sebastian's was black and lime green. They felt silly wearing them but when Tim arrived to drive them to Nick's house, they were thankful.

Jonathan had cooked another amazing roast turkey – though Sebastian supposed it was because he hadn't had enough time to learn to cook anything else. But Kylie had made a caramel steamed pudding that Sebastian virtually inhaled.

However, it was the presents that rocked both Sebastian and Nick to the core.

Kylie received books and music and money towards a car. Tim got a model airplane and concert tickets for a show in February. Jonathan was given a new tie and a box set of the _Lord of the Rings_ movies. Tim reached under the tree, grabbing two presents and handing one each to Sebastian and Nick.

"Presents from all of us," Tim explained. "We weren't really sure what either of you would want though so we just put these together."

Sebastian looked down at the gift in his hands, slowly pulling off the wrapping paper. He smiled when he saw it was a wooden plaque that read "It's not much, but it's home". He went to show it to Nick but froze when he saw the tears running down his face. Casting his gaze downwards, Sebastian saw that Nick held in his hands a framed letter from his mother.

"She wrote it when you were born," Jonathan murmured. "When she got sick, she gave it to me to give you when you needed it most."

Nick hugged the frame to his chest and looked up at his father, smiling brokenly. "Thank you," he whispered before he sniffed and nodded.

Kylie disappeared upstairs after that – Sebastian had taken note of the tears in her eyes but didn't feel he could offer any comfort. Tim slowly coaxed Nick into a conversation while Sebastian headed back into the kitchen with Jonathan to help clean up.

"Y'know, Sebastian, I had my doubts when you two were here at Thanksgiving," Jonathan murmured as he filled the sink with hot, soapy water.

"That doesn't sound good," Sebastian said with a nervous laugh. "Should I be worried?"

"No, of course not." There was a pause before Jonathan sighed and continued. "I thought Nick was making a mistake… But when you two came back from his mother's grave, I knew he had made the right decision."

"I'm glad you feel that way." Sebastian grabbed a dish towel and started drying the dishes as they were stacked in the rack.

"When Nick left for New York, my biggest fear was that something bad would happen and Blaine wouldn't be able to deal with it. So thank you for being around when something bad did happen. Blaine called me up crying so many times since the accident… You kept my son alive, you saved him… There's nothing I could ever do to repay you that debt."

"Please, don't feel you owe me anything," Sebastian said. "I love Nick and I would do anything to keep him safe."

Jonathan turned to Sebastian and smiled. "I know you do, and that changes things. Don't ever feel like you have no family, Sebastian, because you have a family here."

Sebastian nodded, smiling as a sense of acceptance spread through him. The peace was disturbed however when Kylie ran into the kitchen from the living room.

"Woah Kylie, what is it?" Jonathan asked as he scrubbed a plate.

"Nick's all froze up!" she gasped.

The plate clattered into the sink, water splashing on the floor and mingling with a bowl Sebastian had dropped as he ran into the living room. Nick and Tim had been sat on the floor by the tree but Tim rose when he saw Sebastian. Nick was indeed frozen in place, his eyes glazed over with a memory and Sebastian felt a pang of fearful hope strike him.

Sebastian knelt down in front of Nick, watching his face worriedly. "Nick? What is it?"

"We were just talking about _The Hobbit_ – I mentioned one of the dwarves and he just froze." Tim explained, the fear strong in his voice. Sebastian frowned before he held Nick's face in his hands, looking deep into the brown unseeing eyes.

"Nick? Nick, what are you remembering?" Sebastian asked, louder.

Nick shuddered and fell forward slightly before he reached out and clung onto Sebastian.

"Nick…"

"I remember," he whispered. "You were at work… I watched _Snow White_ and Jesse showed up… He tried to kill me… He said-" Nick paled.

"What? What did he say, Nick?"

Sebastian watched as Nick's eyes filled with tears. "He said I used you… When we met – I used you, and you didn't love me. You just felt like you had to stay." His breath hitched and he shook his head. "Please don't say you feel like that. Please don't hate me."

Sebastian pulled Nick into his arms. "I could never hate you. I love you, remember?"

Nick cried into his shoulder and Sebastian didn't know what to do. "Do you … do you love me to?" Sebastian asked tentatively.

Nick nodded against his shoulder before straightening and wiping the tears from his eyes. "I do – I love you."

Sebastian bit his lip and pushed Nick's hair back behind his ear, his fingers grazing over the scar on his head. "Do you know why?"

Nick smiled sadly before leaning in and kissing Sebastian before whispering, "Because you saved me."

Sebastian pulled Nick into his arms, sighing thankfully. It was far from the end but it felt like the hardest part was over. And Sebastian was alright with that.

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**A/N: And that's the end… I hope you've enjoyed it. I'm really sad this is over but I'm glad it is because I could feel the inspiration waning (hence why this wasn't up earlier). I'd hate to have to finish a fic with no passion behind it.**

**I have started piecing together an idea for the next fic. Here's a few clues about it:  
- Cliques  
- French  
- Troupe**

**Feel free to guess but I'm not gonna give anything away just yet – mostly because the idea is in its infancy and I barely have a summary let alone a plot or outline. I hope that's piqued your interest :p**

**I've also put together a masterpost on tumblr of all of my fics – I don't know how useful that will be for people. You can find it on my blog under the "Fic Masterposts" tab.**

**So thank you all for making this my most popular story – by way of reviews, favourites and follows. I hope you've enjoyed it and I'm glad we got to go through this together :) Thank you for reading and I hope you're having a wonderful day –Em xoxo**


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